BFF Rules

How BFF's really work:

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know that you FINALLY got laid.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you every chance I get and try to scare you more.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words, sarcastically.

7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again you nasty germ carrier.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. When your relationship with the child you call BF/GF ends (surprise!), I will stop writing "Buy Milk and Cookies" on your grocery list.

10. When you pick up a skank trick at the bar, I will make fun of you afterwards, and for the rest of your freakin' life!