Make Wonderful Things Happen (Letter to Richie)

 Jan 16th 1985, my life changed forever.
I was given the most beautiful baby girl. Something I felt then
and have felt often since, that I didn't deserve.
She was 3 months old the first time I held her in my arms.
To this day I can still remember how I had to sit down to hold her
because I thought I'd pass out from joy and exhilaration.
It took 20 minutes to stop the tears so that I could see her clearly.
I experienced emotion I'd never known before and it took my breath away.



She used to steal my AF Beret and wear it around the house. She was especially cute when she tried it
standing in my boots. I was probably guilty of spoiling her... yes, I'll admit it, but not bad spoiled.
She knew I was wrapped around her finger. I couldn't tell her no. Too afraid to make her cry I guess.

I'm not sure how much you know about her childhood.
Sadly I still feel today like I failed her and her brother and sister.  I lost my kids... There was so much of Cathy's life taken from me. This was also when the Joy was taken from her.
I knew something was wrong but what could I Do..... I was "just the Dad" according to a very flawed system. So I just watched and listened and hurt for her. Standing silent and helpless.

 A smile is something that should warm your heart.
When it's only there to mask the pain it's not real.
Cathy's been looking for real for many yrs. I truly believe she has found it, in you.
I finally see joy in her smile. I hear happiness in her laughter.
I hear contentment when I'm on the phone with her.
You've somehow managed to bring back to me that happy little girl I lost so many yrs ago.

Fortunately, Cathy has the heart of a fighter and made her way through the crap hand that she was dealt.
I almost lost her for good, but she wanted to know for herself, if the father she had been told was worthless, really was. I'm happy to say I never matched her mothers OR grandmothers description of me.
I'm not sure how sad and lonely my life would be without her. I hope to never find out.
I can't imagine living without her laughter, her sarcasm, her smile.

School photos and pictures taken, when she was visiting other relatives, always trickled to me and I've kept every one of them. Cards and magnets made in school, plastic bead necklaces, crafts from can tabs.... I have them all. Always from the sidelines watching her grow, watching how beautiful she was becoming.
Living through so many moments of sadness and torment and frustration only to trust again and be fooled.
Finally, has fate delivered an honest man for her? Are we to suspend suspicion and place faith once again in the hands and the heart of another?

That little baby that took my breath away, The little girl that could make me laugh and suddenly have energy to play after a 14 hr shift, still covered in camo paint, The young woman who took life by her own reigns and made herself into the force that she is today. I am in Awe of her and would give my own life to protect her.
I've stood silent for too much of her life. I even stood silently on the side of the highway, the night we almost lost her. I watched helplessly while the helicopter took off and it took my breath away.

There are few moments in my life that bear such significance as the birth of my grandson.
I was not prepared for this at all. I think I've done a pretty good job of concealing most of my joy.... LOL!!
Whatever... I'm not a poet OR a writer, so to try and explain what changed in me that day would be a waste of my time. If I actually knew what neurons were I might say I could feel them bursting in my brain. I went deaf, I lost my voice, I couldn't quit smiling and when I finally did stop.... hours later.... I collapsed into the deepest and most contented sleep ever.
I was a Grandfather. I had the most beautiful grandson ever by the most beautiful daughter ever!! How could this happen to ME? I didn't deserve this. Hadn't the world squashed over and over again my rights to such happiness? No, THIS time it was my daughter who said it was ok. This time it was my little girl who would, once again, take my breath away.

So, it's been almost 30 years since that day long ago, in that airport in San Antonio, TX when I first held my baby girl. 30 yrs of tears and laughter and anxious moments and fear and stress and love and anger and trust and doubt. Three Decades of wonder and joy and surprise and learning and accepting. Friends and family lost and gained, shoulders sagged with worry and sadness, but here, 30 yrs later we are, decisions to be made and love to be nurtured.

Here I Am, 50 yrs old, grey and getting greyer. Old and getting tired. Not sure how much longer I'll be allowed to stand on the sidelines to watch and protect. So, I've decided to change things up a little.
Instead of standing silently by and watching and WAITING....... I'm going to tell you how it should be... how it will be.
It's 10:30 on a weeknight, so you're most likely holding in your arms one of the most precious, priceless and irreplaceable people in my life. It's been way too many yrs since I've seen or heard her this happy.
As I said earlier.... you make her smile like the little girl I lost so long ago. I know it's just a matter of time before you come to me and ask the big question, so here goes.
Yes, Richie, You May Marry My Daughter.
Only if you promise to continue to love her the way you already are. To cherish her smile, to hold her close and to protect her with your own life. I give to you the honor of being her Husband, her friend, her partner.
I hand you the responsibility and the magic. Take her and make wonderful things happen.
I love you both.


                      Dad


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UPDATE .... Less than 12 hrs later.....
Guess who got engaged????
YAY!!! I can hear little girl laughter all around today!!!
Love you so much. Can't wait for that walk!!