Facebook Ate Me

Wow...I haven't posted since Sept of last year. The reason is clear. I was consumed by a greedy mind warping social network site called Facebook. With its promises of cute little farms and an endless wall of intriguing posts from all your friends and others merely acquaintances... well, so you never really met them, but you know they hate mornings and can't stand Palin, so that means they just HAVE to be your friends. Each morning I would rush through puppy chores, grab my coffee and almost trip over the dogs in order to sign on to see who had responded to my oh so clever remark the night before. HAHAHAHA.... Yes, they had read what I wrote and OH... I hate to pat myself so heartily on the back, but I must be the funniest person on FB, because they all replied... LOL, ROFLMAO, or they'd muster up the courage and try to say something equally as funny, although most of them failed. I'd laugh at the replies and scroll farther down my wall of friendly graffiti only to end up disgusted by all the "Repost This" and "make this your status" comments. Don't these people have minds of their own? Can't they manage to come up with a simple line or two that isn't exactly what someone else just posted. To make matters worse, I'd find myself going along with the rest of them and posting some lame-ass response to today's secret question. Truthfully, it disgusted me to know what color bra ANY of them were wearing and it was even worse when the answer was none. Blocking applications became some sort of war game for me. Figuring out how many I could shoot down today was a major goal for me. Then there were the constant "Improvements" being made to the site. Always with the understanding that our lives would be made simpler with these new updates. Little did anyone know how FB was becoming more and more invasive. Sucking information from our email address books was just the beginning. Searching the web with our info, discovering where we look on the Internet and what we buy, so they could target us with ads while we browsed those funny comments on our wall. What a clever bunch of fellows they are at FB. I want them on my friends list. Even Tom, on My space lets you be HIS friend!! Posting was convenient for us while on vacation. We could share our pics and adventures each day.... of course I could have done that right here as well and it would have had more substance. With all the puppies coming and going from the house, FB allowed me to constantly update the world with photos and stories.... how wonderful that was for all of you. Now I wasn't just the funniest guy on FB, but I had the biggest heart too!! I almost couldn't stand being me, I was so self important. Then the day came when i started to realize how not only me, but how everyone had been duped. Social networking, yes, it has it's pros, but it also has its cons. What had happened to e-mail? What had happened to CALLING your friends? I can send a text and get an instant reply, but if I call a friend, I get voicemail.... WTF??? Are we all so busy thinking of that witty line we'll post next that we can't answer that damn phone? Have we become so self absorbed that we can't take the time to write a letter (even in e-mail form)? Most importantly, what happened to getting together with your friends? Actual physical contact with those people you place dear to you. I've gotten ahead of myself. I forgot to write about negative posting, and some people should be crowned the king and queen of it. I seriously don't care that traffic is bad in NOVA.... It's ALWAYS bad traffic in nova. Taco Bell for dinner isn't something I would brag about. Telling the world how bad your children are only reflects on you as a parent. Sharing how your church got you through a rough patch, says you're weak willed. I could go on and on. It got so I was stressed after visiting my FB. Something I had taught myself to love and need had become an irritating addiction. Finally after deleting most of my profile and refusing to post any more worthless twaddle for the world to read, I figured out why FB had become a dumping ground for garbage commentary. In an attempt to actually BE more social, we've in all actuality become more reclusive. Unfortunately most people don't see this and therefore post and almost endless wall of negative comments. The only time they can be positive is when responding to one-anothers whimsical postings. Thus, pumping the egos of people like myself and making us feel Comedic and Wise. Fortunately I've come to terms with this false status and have made due adjustment. I wish the rest of my"friends" on FB could do the same and start something more meaningful. Social networking with all it's attempts, can not replace a hug. My Post to you Facebook....... you tried once, but now I give you permission.... Eat Me.