I can't Help you now!!!

I've never been a big follower of horoscopes, but I'm pretty sure if I had read mine this morning, I would have crawled back into bed. After an hour plus of driving with the idiots of Northern Virginia, I got Steve to his appt in Sleesburg.... oops... Leesburg. We had received a call from his doctor on our way home from this same building yesterday. Apparently the xrays we had just had done were done incorrectly. The Doc apologized for any inconvenience this may cause, but he needed us to return and have the xrays redone. So we got there and no arrangement had been made. Nobody knew why we were supposed to be there and the docs staff.... when we called... didn't know that he was in his office and told us they would call us when he arrived. OMFG.... My brain exploded.... I called the Docs cell number and left a message on his voicemail. 5 minutes later Steve was being taken care of. How many incompetent morons does it take to run an imaging center??? Anyhow.... his arm is still broken. He broke it on the 5th.... the 1st night of the first snow storm. It's still not set and it still hurts him. The first arm cuff that was made was the wrong kind. Mental note: Do NOT have any kind of procedure done at or near Jefferson Memorial Hospital in Ranson WV. This coming Tues, Steve will discuss with his doctor his options for surgery. That decision could have been made today, but nothing could have been done before next week anyhow. So not to have this whole situation all drama... we went to Office Depot!!! Yes... Office Depot and got iron on transfers. Now we're both the proud owners of this fine decal on our new Blizzard of 2010 T-Shirts. Snow Shovel + Stone Steps = A Broken Arm Many of you know about Aura. She's the latest on a long list of foster doggies that have graced our home. She's currently here with her litter of 12 pups. Twelve little mouths to feed and butts to lick. Stinky, noisy, beautiful babies. Aura is a super Mom... very attentive and has done an excellent job of feeding all 12 pups with only 9 available teats. Drinking around 6 gallons of water and enough food to feed six dogs her size, each day, she's more than capable of completing this task. She's also a factory for massive amounts of poop and urine. This translates into 5 to 6 walks a day. Unfortunately, when the urge hits her, she has to go right then. This is bad, especially since she's in the basement. The first time it happened was my fault. I assumed that Aura would if needed poop by the door on the brick floor like she had so many times already. I could clean it and scrub it and light a book of matches to kill the funk. NO... Aura decided she would get up on the bed and release the flood from her bloated bladder. 1 King size Comforter.... 1 king size electric blanket... 1 king size set of fleece sheets..... 1 king size mattress cover.... all had to be washed. That's 4 loads of laundry. The second time.... her leash broke.... at least that's what I'm making myself believe, because if I thought she chewed through her leash to piss on the bed AGAIN... I might have to turn her out. That would be 4 MORE loads of laundry. The last time.... I left her there for 60 seconds..... just long enough for me to come up the ladder with her food bowl and go back down. She not only pissed the bed twice, but crapped on it too. I saw red.... literally. If I didn't want to have to hand feed 12 pups I could have just put her out the door. WHY? WHY? WHY?.... that's all I kept yelling the whole time I stripped the bed for the THIRD time. She just sat in the whelping box with her pups not knowing WHY I was so upset. It must be perfectly normal for her to want to poop and pee on a big bed. The hard cold brick floor that's so easily cleaned would be the worst place to do her business. UGH!!! I eventually forgave her. I've never drank or eaten as much as she has to, so I don't know the urgency she must experience when that time comes. I'm guessing that it's so intense she also can't think logically. Why, I've seen drivers pull right off the shoulder and just whip it out during rush hour. Oblivious to all the passers-by that are getting a good laugh at their predicament. Today though, was a different story. I've been trying to give her some puppy free time by bringing her upstairs with us and the other dogs. When we were out yesterday, I put her in a crate in our dining room with Dash Roux and Moses. Today, I did the same thing, thinking she would be fine. What greeted us on our return was nothing short of pure k9 chaos. Aura, who had been placed in a crate in our dining room behind a gated door, in our locked house, was chained to a post on our patio. I didn't even stop to see Aura and the big Tow chain that was clipped to her collar. I went straight for the house. How had she gotten out, who chained her up and what about all the other dogs in the house!! The first thing I noticed was the mangled screen door on the back porch. Kicking the shredded screen out of the way I opened the door and found bits and pieces of what used to be the cat door that had been installed in one of our french doors. Aura had pushed the cat door and it's entire frame right out of the door... breaking it in the process. The first pile of crap was just inside the door..... the next one 4 ft further.... the next one... in the kitchen. The kitchen... counter items scattered.... this is where Aura got the full container of Parmesan cheese that she scattered all over the living room carpet. I turned to see the crate that had once held her and was in shock. She had destroyed it. the plastic tray had been chewed and broken into small pieces. The wire on the bottom and one end of the crate had been completely warped out of shape... so much so that it caused the entire end of the crate to pop from its clamps and fall open..... giving Aura her anticipated and desired freedom. By this time, Steve had joined me in what we used to call our home. Immediately I noticed he had stepped in some of the strategically laid poop. He hopped to the sofa and sat down to take his crap covered shoe off with his one good arm. I took his shoes and put them outside to clean later. That's when Steve realized he had just sat on a urine soaked sofa. Not just once, but twice.... she peed on the couch. This was bad. She not only destroyed our home, but she "got" the one person who didn't really want her here in the first place. Steve shares his home with these unfortunate dogs and puppies because I want them here. Now she only had me to fight for her and I was over her at the moment. I started to clean up poop when I realized I hadn't seen either of our two cats. Aura has a serious issue with kitties and my stomach turned when I thought she may have hurt one of them. Upstairs I went... Poop in the hallway... she had been here. Poop in the bathroom... she had been here. Poop on my grandsons bed... she had been here. ZOOM... Venus was down the stairs and outside. OK... one of them was alright. Xander was a big ole Tom Cat... I was sure he was fine... I couldn't allow myself to think otherwise. I cleaned up the poop. Took the rugs and blankets that needed WASHED down to the laundry room. Collected the two rugs she soiled in the living room and added them to the pile. Out with the carpet spray.... scrub scrub scrub... vacuum vacuum vacuum... got all the cheese and bits and pieces of crate and doorway all sucked up.... smashed the mangled crate back into shape and put it outside. Stripped the sofa of it's slip cover and cushion covers. Washed and treated the foam cushions and covered the sofa with a blanket. House almost back in order, I e-mailed the rescue and told them "Aura HAS to GO"! Even if I could forgive her, knowing how strong her motherly drive is, (which is why I think she had to escape), Steve will not, and truthfully, I am tired..... of laundry. So back to explaining how she got tied outside. Our awesomely cool neighbor, Donny happened to be home and heard her when she started barking on his front porch. He had already met Aura and she allowed him to put her back on the patio.... she jumped the fence again. He put her on the back porch... she tore up the door. He got a tow chain and tied her to a post... that's where we came in. She's downstairs now... tied with a seriously thick rope to a hook in the fireplace. (we don't use it) She can reach her pups... her food and her bed. Her time is limited here in WV. I've already assessed her pups and have determined they will be fine being weaned at 4 weeks. That will be this coming Sat. Say goodbye Mama.... I can't help you now.