A New Beginning... one more time!

As I curled up on the floor in the cold darkness with 12 sad little puppies, I started thinking that my decision to wean them early may have been a selfish act.

So pitiful with their soulful mourns, I swear I actually heard a few of them SAY Maaaaa Maaaaa.

I believe as children we have the ability to talk to the animals. Something that we lose the ability to do as we mature. A cruel twist of evolution actually. Well, I also feel that if we care enough, we can still communicate with them. This isn't some imagined language that you can, one day,

suddenly interpret; it's a sense of knowing their needs and worries and calming them.

However, in some dreamy half sleep if you happen to hear your dog say, "I've gotta piss NOW", just go with it and get outta bed.

8, 11, 2 and 5 something were the times they woke me up last night crying for their mama.

Yes, I'll say it again... I actually heard them crying, Mama.

I'd get out of bed, turn up the light... fix their warm puppy milk and talk to them while they cried and slurped and eventually fell back to sleep. Finally around 6 am they were just inconsolable, so I crawled from my warm bed with a blanket to the floor and carefully removed each puppy from the box. Curled around them on the rug in our basement, I sang them to sleep as I cupped each tear stained little face in my hand. My heart just ached for these poor babies who had no idea where their mommy had gone. How they would have spit if they knew it was ME who had cast her from their lives.

Sometimes the decisions we make as pet owners and fosters, are hard. Sometimes the result of those decisions is even harder. I hope Aura didn't have as rough a night. I'd like to think that she's on her way to her new freedom and got some good rest. I don't mind being slightly insane from lack of sleep. I guess I'm used to it. Every day is a new day, right?

The sunrise this morning was beautiful and symbolic to me in many ways.

In the almost ten years we've lived here, the beautiful sunrises are something I've never taken for granted. I know it sounds corny, but they constantly remind me how I get one more chance to be a better person.

Today the pups will make their move from the basement fireplace to the laundry room.

Symbolically coming out of the dark into the light of day. A new life for them... one without their Mama. An adventure where they will learn excellent social skills and prepare for that day when they will travel alone to their new family. Hopefully I will have prepared them well enough to adjust to the shock of being ripped from their nest of siblings.

Around here, there really is no such thing as a routine, because just when I get one it changes. The puppies are learning new ways to escape every hour, so I have to stay at least three days ahead of them. It's not really a challenge anymore. Maggies pups trained me well and every litter since has failed at introducing any new escape plans. This puppy boot camp has been tried and tested many times over!!

Here's to a new beginning.... one more time. Happiness and joy, sadness and heartache. Puppies that chew and poop and bark and howl and give the best kisses Ever!! Here's to seeing Aura get her figure back and finding the perfect family that won't mind when she eats the neighbors cat.

Here's to unimaginable patience...... may the gods grant me that!!