Happy Birthday JR!!!!

Wow, it's been FIVE years!!! Sometimes it feels like it's been only a few months and at other times much much longer, but it's been exactly 5 years since JR came into our lives. Racing around the beltway at 2am, hoping to get down county in time. Going unmentionable speeds on a holiday weekend and praying those doughnuts had been delivered so we would be free of the PoPo. We made it to St mary's with time to spare. In fact.... we coulda slept a little longer...... NOT!!! LOL!!! 6:32am 7.9lbs How could something so small cause such a large lump in my chest. I'll never forget the way I felt holding my grandson for the first time. I waited till last to hold him, because now I could hold him as long as I wished and hold him I did. Studying his tiny fingers.... his tiny....tiny....tiny little eyelashes already curling and his pouty lips that would forever be the one thing that would melt my heart. Laying there in my arms, each breath new like the first ray of light at the beginning of time. My life was starting over again. Everything I had known... everything I had ever done would forever be changed from this moment forward. There would be a new meaning and driving force behind every decision in my life. My Grandson had made this all possible..... the fragile life I cradled there in my two hands were worth giving my life for. Positive I would soon pass out from pure joy, it was time to hand this beautiful baby back to his mother. The daughter who had always brought me such joy herself had unknowingly made me the happiest I had ever been in my life. As I stood, I really did think about running with him from the hospital, but that was more of a sarcastic funny in my head than reality. I laid that little bundle of precious cargo back in his mothers arms and for the first time felt I wasn't worthy to have held him. Such powerful emotions can cause some men to turn to god...... I of course, just looked upon the glowing face of my beautiful daughter and her child, and knew I was already looking upon the most ethereal scene my mortal eyes could behold. We left the hospital after saying our goodbyes and witnessing possibly the most touching exchange of tenderness and love between two new parents that I've ever seen. Cathy and Bobby cried together over their newly arrived love. I will forever remind them of that moment.... it's worth remembering. All the sadness and hate in the world can't take away something that's true and deep. Hang onto your love and know you can always look upon your son as a reminder. Happy Birthday JR. I hope one day you know just how much joy you've brought into our lives!!

His Arrival Announcement and More!!

Fortunately, I was blessed by the gods, because I always had the time to keep JR whenever Cathy (my daughter, his mom) needed an emergency babysitter. From daycare being closed to Daycare providers on crack to just plain ole daycare Issues.... I made sure I was available. When JR came to stay here... it was always for at least a week.

I know it was hard on his Mom and that's partly the reason I have close to 5000 pics of him. JR first stayed with us when he was only 3 months old. We only had the one crib at the time and since it was upstairs and we sleep downstairs, we set him up in a dresser drawer. It was the perfect size and Blaze our big ole beast of a dog laid right beside him all night.

The changes that have taken place in this house because of JR are huge. From building a two tiered patio with a secure fence outside to the simplest things like getting used to that little stool I keep tripping over. I would probably only change one thing and that would be to have them live closer. 3 hours really is too far away. How can JR be here every day if he has to travel that far!!!!

His first visit here, I laid him on this counter while I fixed dinner. It's still his spot today. As small as my kitchen is, this is his corner. Even when he's 6ft tall..... this'll be his corner. Here he is mastering applesauce.

Bubbles are a joy for any kid.... JR's had it in multiple forms. We've got Jumbo Bubbles to bubble machines. His screams of joy and intoxicating laughter were worth every penny spent on bubbles. Let's not forget all the dogs he entertained with those bubble too. He learned real fast that puppies like to chase floating things and there's ALWAYS puppies here it seems.

As much fun as those first few years were.... we had to let go of the baby and embrace the inquisitive toddler which lasted .... seems like a few weeks.... before he became the all knowing and all powerful teenager he acts like today. Again, I say we're fortunate, because as mature as he tries to convince us he is, he's still a little boy that once in awhile needs a band-aid and a hug, and as rugged and bump proof as he may appear to be....... he's still has a tender side.

Happy Birthday Little Man!! I hope you're having the best one ever!!! See you soon.... Miss you lots!! Always remember, Gramps and Doc "heart" you too!!!! More Pics

The Unforgiven

Before you read this I want you to know something. I was never the person you're about to hear. I was turned into this person by a mean, hateful and unhappy person. She killed my spirit and caused me more pain in my life than one man should ever have to bear. My anger and bitterness runs deep. However, wanting to be the change I want to see in the world, I have to vent this in order to overcome it. I am tired of suffering this hurt. I realize there are many stories of absent fathers and the horrible things they've done to their families. I am tired of being a class victim of this stereotype. We are not all alike. Most often there are two sides to every story. Before you place judgement, listen.

Dear Bitter one, Your anger started in your childhood. You were a victim of an incestuously retarded mother. She blamed you, she hated you, she called you an ugly child. You were never good enough and although you were completely unaware of it, she was jealous of everything you were. A life of being screamed at, beaten and made feel unworthy, turned you into the hateful contemptuous bitch you are today. Your anger killed your spirit. Victimized by a pitiful cunt of a mother your aggressive nature consumed your life and everyone in it. Friends tolerated you for as long as they could. Boyfriends used you and left. I stayed for as long as I could possibly tolerate your venom. You screamed at and beat me almost daily. Your anger so great and so overwhelming it blinded you to how horrible your existence really was. Years of unhappiness, blamed on everything and everyone you met, but never yourself. You killed me. You took the happiness out of my life. Those that could see you for what you truly were tried to tell me to leave, but based on some spiritual commitment, I stayed..... and I suffered. One after another the children came. Your only possible way of keeping a relationship. With each babys arrival, meant another year or two of spousal abuse. You got too comfortable though and in the end your mean natured ways chased me away. Foolishly I thought I was free from your nastiness. You used our children. You turned your anger on them and denied them happiness and their father. You infected them with the same cruel life that was inflicted on you by your own pathetic mother. You took it a step farther. You subjected them to alcoholic sexual predators.... and denied it. You truly are an example of what goes wrong when relatives breed. I thought for years I was the cause of your unhappiness. I had tried so hard to take you and keep you away from the mother you said you hated so much. I denied the lifestyle that haunted me since childhood. I endured years of emotional, physical and psychological abuse from you. I suffered through 7 courtroom battles, just to see my children. Before I was ever allowed to speak to my children I was forced to listen to your vile ranting. Eventually I stopped calling them, but that's what you wanted.... anything to hurt me... to hurt them. Nobody in your life was allowed to be happy if you weren't. You're nothing but a self absorbed selfish Bitch. I missed so much of my childrens lives growing up. You and your Old She-Devil of a mother blamed me. How could I endure any more of your abuse? You hid your evilness behind a slew of equally emotionally disturbed boyfriends, while your hateful mother shrouded her loathsome and malicious behavior with the apparition of christianity. Years went by, birthdays and holidays were never celebrated with me. Even Fathers Day eluded me. Somehow, according to you and your trusted advisor, I wasn't qualified. Fortunately time is always the friend of the innocent. Our kids grew up and they grew up hating you, resenting you and most of all not trusting you. You gave them grief and sadness, hate and discontent. You filled their heads with lies and when they needed it most, you denied them love. You're still angry and You are to blame. You've had so many years to see what happened and make a change. You've had years of opportunity to say you're sorry to those you hurt, but you insist you did nothing wrong. I feel such pity for you. Of all the things you took from me and our children...... all the pain we've endured by your hand and your screaming..... the thing that upsets me the most is the sense that all hope is lost. Hope that one day, you would release the demons that controlled you and try to just be happy. I love my children and I know they love me. I may not have been there for them from time to time, but at least I was honest enough to apologize. I'll grow old with no regrets, because I can forgive you. I just hope when the time comes, that you can forgive yourself.

MeMo Day 2009

It's been kind of a stressful month for me.

I did something to my back/hip and have suffered through some pretty bad couch days the past few weeks.

Steve went on his work trip to Malaysia... TEN DAYS... and it rained the whole time he was gone. I was left here with 9 wet dogs and Census work to do.

Red... formerly Babs never got the whole poop outside thing, so I moved her and her litter to the back patio. That was ok for the first few days, but then she decided she would stress out when ever she thought I was leaving. For her last week or so here, I had to sneak out the front door and down the street if I had to go anywhere.

Last week, I separated the pups Dugan, Grady, Finn and Mei Li from their Mama. Weaning was no longer an option.... it HAD to be done.

This of course created an entirely new stress in our already stressed home. Crying puppies and a howling Mama don't do much for the Zen charm of country living. Then we lost Marquis to a horrific attack by that stray dog. I'm still a little off kilter from that one. Just one of my animals, that's all I ask.... just one die from old age.

Beth came out last thurs and got the pups. Fat and happy and not really missin Mama anymore, they were ready for a new foster home for their last two weeks before adoption.

This of course made Red a little more unbearable. She no longer had pups to hide behind, so her submissive behavior took on peeing when approached. Peeing while sweeping her excited tail back and forth equals dog urine all over your shoes and legs. We got beyond this behavior solely on the unfortunate knowledge that she had been an abused girl and needed only positive responses from us. No matter how gross it was to have dog urine on our feet... we just patted her head and told her it would all be OK. Red left here sat when Steve and I delivered her to the PETCO adoption event. I was pleasantly surprised to see her calm reaction to all the other dogs and especially the other foster/volunteers. She'll be OK.... it was nice to be able to hug her and assure her she'd no longer be abused. She was safe now.

Steve and I left the event, heading for Alden Farms Nursery. This is year 10 for us and we thought it would be nice to mark this event with a sculpture for the back yard. I had previously been to the nursery and scoped out what I thought were the coolest ones. I had also purchased a gift certificate which I knew wouldn't cover the entire cost, but would get us started. It took us twice as long to get there as it did to make our decision and David Therriault, the Owner/Sculptor surprisingly said, This one?.... just like that?" We told him yes without a doubt.... this one. His response to such a quick and positive decision was fresh. Apparently he's used to people who can't make up their minds or perhaps he felt we were unaware of the correct Chi alignment necessary to make such a decision. None-the-less, he was happy and that may have had something to do with it's price tag, but probably more so to do with seeing his creation leave in admiring and appreciative hands.

We talked all the way home about where we could put our new piece of artwork. From the top of the back yard we let our imagination work it's way down the hill. Picturing it with hedges as a backdrop or sitting solitary in the middle of the yard, or creating it's own secret garden where it could be the center of deep reflection. We finally decided it's location and upon doing so we also decided its meaning. David had created a work of art that to him meant a struggle between two forces being pushed apart.

Peace on one side, Shalom on the other. Two words meaning the same thing yet the world pushes them apart. We saw his art as a symbol of peace holding the world in place. To Steve and I it wasn't just a great gift for a 10 yr anniversary, but it was a fitting memorial for for our backyard. it would be a symbol for what we hoped would become our daily mantra. Peace and Harmony.

For now it sits on a little patch of mulch alongside the house. Once we get it's special spot in the yard ready, we'll move it to it's permanent home.

With just Dash and Roux here now it seems a little strange. Having just two dogs that listen and don't poop in the house almost seems like we have someone else's children. This is the relax time we've been waiting for though. Now comes the list of projects that have been building up. We started yesterday with the sanding of the deck railing, rocking chair and table outside. Then Steve stained it all a nice red oak. I, still recovering from back issues, stuck to the little projects like laundry and dismantling kennels and lunch. I did get the old Gods n Generals sign repaired.

Jon n Steph stopped by while out hiking the Ferry and had lunch with us. Overall it's been a nice MeMoDay weekend. Today we're going to get a new water softener. Our old one lasted a good 7 years, but alas it gave out and Saturday went to it's final resting place at the Jefferson County Dump.

The sun is shining, my pain killers are kicking in and the day has just begun. Happy Memorial Day Everyone!!!

That time of year again....

...... when the flowers start blooming.

Having one of the best neighbors in the world also helps.

I was passed this beautiful Peony through my kitchen window this past week.

Absolutely gorgeous. Fragrant but not over-powering... flawless.

(and the peony was nice too... LOL)

I've had a pretty bad week with my back and all.

Barely able to.... I was standing doing dishes when my neighbor and all around good guy, Donny knocked at the kitchen window. He passes me this beautiful flower.

Thanks Donny, you don't have any idea what it meant to me.

So here it is for the rest of you to enjoy!!!

May it brighten your day the way it's brightened my week.

To Marquis... I'm Sorry

Startled by a cage door, you started to run.

You realized though your freedom lie beyond that door.

That's when I first met you.

You and your brother, almost twins.

I paid the lady for your freedom.

It was Dec 3rd 2004.

You both were sick, we got your meds...

and kept you there beside our bed.

No time at all, you both recovered.

We brought you out to meet the others.

Bette, Joan and Big Boy Blaze.

You hissed and clawed, but soon gave in.

Big puppy licks and soft warm fur...

was all it took to warm your heart.

I remember how you looked that day,

the sad sad day Blaze went away.

You missed that big ole sloppy tongue...

and how that super tail that hung...

just low enough for a kitten to cling to...

had dissappeared.

Sometimes distant and often cold,

you'd stare at us indignant.

But in that basement where you once were little..

the kitten in you emerged.

Bigger now, so Independent,

cat door installed and open,

you ventured out into that world...

you'd watched from behind the curtain.

I prayed the gods protect al Gatto.

Bells on collars save the birds.

Rainy days you stayed inside.

What a fair-weather hunter you were.

Fate and sadness all combined,

two sisters passed away.

One from a car and one so far....

infected from attack.

All the dogs and puppies here....

taught you how to trust.

The trust you placed in K9 pals....

was sadly your demise.

A sad sad night you lost your life,

A stray dog sent from hell.

Your body broken, mangled.... pain...

I held you in my arms.

You hissed and cried,

such horror for such a sweet boy.

You knew not why....

a dog would hurt you.

I wept for you....

my friend Marquis....

Your pain was great and.......

I ended it for you.

Forgive me boy, I did not know...

I'm sure you didn't either....

when just a kitten behind cage door,

Your Life would end so soon.

Im Memory of Marquis

Yes, it hurts. Yes, we miss him terrible. This morning I finally had that moment of release I knew would come. I guess i had just braced myself against weeping until things were settled.

For whatever reason I waited, I'm glad I did.

Marquis suffered in his last hour here with us. Throat opened, stomach opened, back broken... he hissed at me as I ran to him that night. When he heard my voice he calmed down.

It's funny how a cat that was so particular about how and when he allowed us to pet him, somehow thought he was safe when he heard me. If only I could have lived up to his expectations.

I wrapped his tortured bleeding body in my coat and carried him for the last time up the steps.

I wasn't going to make him suffer the 45 minute drive to the emergency vet. I ended it for him.

I'm So Sorry marquis. I'm so so sorry, buddy.

I did it fast and although some may say it inhumane, he was in such pain and completely paralyzed.

He's at peace now. As I laid him in his grave, I asked his forgiveness one last time and wished him a safe and happy journey over rainbows bridge. I told him he could go see Blaze again. Blaze practically mothered Marquis and his brother Xander as kittens. Blaze was the reason Marquis was so trusting of dogs. The same trust that most likely got him killed.

OK... Whew... I had to take a break.

I'm NOT pressing charges against the owners of the dog that did this.

I scouted through town and made it very clear every place I stopped that I wished for them to contact us.

Yesterday evening two very remorseful and apologetic people called the house.

Completely distraught, we talked for almost an hour about the seriousness of not only what their dog did, but what their dog IS. They realize they not only own a rescued pitbull, but they have one with some serious aggression issues.

We discussed options, from euthanasia to a lifetime of behavioral training.

Electric fences, shock collars, muzzles, educating all family, friends and neighbors about the dog and having their quality of life completely disrupted for the life of their dog.

I tried to impress upon them, how committing yourself to a life of providing a good home for an animal is completely different from keeping an animal in your home that could ultimately COST you your home. They have a very hard decision to make and I made sure they knew their decision was going to be just as hard as the one I had to suffer.

Our conversation turned a corner when they asked what THEY could do for us.

Marquis came from Berkeley County Humane Society. This is where Blaze, Turk, Obie, Chief, Trooper, Dash, Roux, Xander AND Marquis came from, so you can see we support them quite a bit. They plan on making a substantial contribution to this Humane Society in Marquis name.

They're also willing to work with me on developing an education program for the community.

I stressed the need to teach potential and current dog owners of the absolute necessity to socialize their dogs. Not only does proper socializing help the animal, but a well organized dog community/dog park/dog friendly neighborhood, is one of the strongest fibres holding neighborhoods together today.

I believe that maybe this was my calling all along. I can do this. I can get us a dog park. I can educate in the schools not only the need for K9 Social skills, but the proper handling of dogs.

Yes, this can be done, and we're going to use Gracie the Pitbull that killed Marquis as a teaching tool. She will be the example..... that is of course if her owners don't make the decision to put her down.

I doubt they will, because she's young. She can be rehabilitated and if they can fathom the life they must live from this moment on, she can remain a member of their family.

Either way, they're willing to work with me on this program.

The animal control officer called me back and was a little shocked to hear I wouldn't be pressing charges. I told her I didn't want to be one of "those people". the world already had enough of them. If I'm to be the change I want to see, then I need to mourn the loss of Marquis in the privacy of my own home in order to make a difference. A court room battle and a lawsuit will not bring him back. A level head can possibly prevent this from happening to someone else.

So, in Memory of Marquis, I'm making it my goal to educate as many people as I possibly can, about the need for, and the dangers of not, properly socializing their dog.

All things happen for a reason. It's how this puzzle was put together. I don't believe Marquis died senselessly. I do believe however, his death was a wake-up call.

The Fliers are Printing

I suddenly realized this morning I can't type as fast as I can think, because if I could, I'd be a better writer. I tend to forget those great ideas before I can get them typed. I was gonna wait till I calmed down and write a fitting tribute to our boy Marquis... and I may still do that, but I need to get something off my chest first and unfortunately for anyone who reads this..... THIS is where I do that. Working with the rescue these past 7 months and doing my own sort of dog rescue for the past... well, my life.... I've started to see a new trend in dog mixes. Where it used to be that almost anything questionable in a dog was written off as a Lab Mix, it's scarily becoming the norm to see Pittie Mix instead.

Now I've admitted most of my fear of that terrier breed has been because of the media. This is the same media that made me afraid of PMS and I KNOW they were right about that one. Anyhow, I, being the dog lover I am, quashed the medias attempt at labeling an entire breed aggressive, (not a big fan of labels), and went about merrily socializing these little pit mixes. So far, I think I've had good luck with most of the dogs that've been through this bootcamp. Well Blaze was a completely different story, but that was mostly my fault.... he just wanted to be exactly like me and that's when I was still suffering from Raging Bitterness. Now my therapist calls it psychotic sarcasm. Hmmp!!

More to the point of this chest cleansing post...... My opinion of Pitbulls has been, well temporarily if not permanently changed. Last night a freerange Pitt and its K9 companion, a little sheltie mix were roaming carefree through our neighborhood when they came upon our cat, Marquis, sitting on the open front porch of our home. Marquis waits there every night for me to finish walking the dogs and comes inside with us. Marquis was also raised to like dogs............... my mistake.

I was actually on the back patio with Dash, Roux and Red when Roux alerted me to "something" in the dark. Since she's often the neurotic barker I ignored her. How I wish I had listened last night. By the time I reached the street with MY dogs, the Black and White Pitbull, teeth clamped securely around Marquis neck, was standing in front of our home and had just finished savagely mauling him. Since yelling at and clapping my hands didn't scare off the growling PIT, I rushed my dogs in the house and came back out to give aid to Marquis. This is when the two dogs ran down the hill. Now, The Sheltie mix was easily 50ft from the PIT. At no time did I see the Sheltie grab at or bite my cat. It was the PIT who instinctively attacked. It was the PIT who was barking and growling at me. I grabbed the phone and a flashlight and on my way out called the police. I wanted to alert them to the Aggressive Pitbull that was roaming freely through town. The local police and animal control were dispatched.

I grabbed a better flashlight and went looking for the, soon to be dead, dog myself. I already had blood on my hands, but this time I wanted it to be the dogs. I ran into a neighbor walking his St Bernard down on Potomac St. He had just come upon the two strays and as I approached the PIT charged me. Fortunately the St Bernard in an accidental and clumsy way got in his way and the PIT backed off. I called animal control again.... got the voicemail, so I called emergency one more time. Within minutes they and the Police were on scene. While I was describing what happened and where we had seen the two dogs..... along comes the concerned mommie, wondering where her two babies had run off to. I asked her to describe them. She said one dog was brown and white, the other was black and white. Funny, she wouldn't give their breed. I asked her if her "black n white" baby happened to be a Pitbull. When she said yes, I told her that animal control was at the end of the street trying to catch her aggressive cat killing dog and I was standing by to watch it be put to sleep.

Thats when I got to sit in the back of the police cruiser. Not under arrest, but, like the nice policeman put it... "obviously upset and better off being in a non-confrontational position".

I filled out a report. I chose to not file charges for several reasons. One... they would want me to place a value on my deceased cat.... WTF??? Two... whether or not I filed charges, the dog in question wouldn't be put to sleep if it didn't have any priors. If they discovered it did... euthanasia would be immediate. It would be put on an aggressive dog register otherwise. The next time it bit or killed something or someone, they could finally shoot it in the head. Three.... this is possibly the most important reason I didn't file charges. The look of absolute dread on the woman's face when she found out her dog attacked and killed my cat (OFF MY FRONT PORCH) was all I needed to see, to know...... she would, for the life of that dog, ALWAYS be waiting for that next attack. Knowing she would suffer daily with knowledge that her dog was "One Of THOSE Pitbulls", was enough karma for me. She would, until the day that dog is eventually put to sleep, ALWAYS remember me.... and although she never met him, I will make sure she never forgets Marquis. (The fliers are printing)

Marquis suffered. He was snatched from our front porch by this dog. The evidence for that was his collar I found beneath the plaque hanging on our front wall. Some might say that being an outdoor cat has it's risks. You would think that only applied to cats that roam the neighborhood. marquis was sitting on the porch waiting for me to take the dogs on their evening walk. The Pitbull that attacked him was LOOKING for something to kill. It was an unprovoked attack by an aggressive dog. This dog needs to be put down.

Happy Spring!

Happy Spring Everyone!! I could start out this post by saying just how bad my back was killing me, but I won't. I could tell you I was done with Census Canvassing and elaborate on my discoveries of a county I thought I knew, but I won't. Today I want to say Happy Spring. The sun is shining, the breeze is wonderful. The puppies are full of lovin licks and things are blooming. Below is a close-up pic I got of a Paulownia Tree blooming down by the river. Did you know in Japan, it was customary to plant a Paulownia when a daughter was born and to use it to make her a dresser when she was to be married? I love Wikipedia!!

I also didn't realize how fragrant they were. Even standing just feet away from the bog they call the canal, I was graced by the pleasant aroma of a blooming Princess Tree.

Enjoy.... I'm going to go throw myself down a flight of stairs. Maybe if my back was broken it wouldn't hurt as bad as it does now. Later!!!

You can't MAKE me

What a horrible week it's been. Well maybe not so horrible, but definitely not up there on the list as a good one. It pretty much rained for 7 days straight. We had little glimpses of sun and then torrential downpours. The river rose to 15.93ft. 16ft would have put it over the tow path on the CnO Canal. Through all this RAIN..... I still worked Census Canvassing. YUCK!! I've never felt so wet in all my life, well there I go again saying never... I can probably recall a few sweaty sticky summers in a tobacco field that might have been worse, but at least in the tobacco field we didn't mind being wet. Trying to at least appear official, and conduct some sort of professional interaction with suspicious Bush supporting idiots, who as soon as they realize I'm with US Census MUST vomit their "worthless" opinions, is difficult to do when you're standing in the rain.

It's even worse when your running from mangy mutts through muddy trash filled yards. I have to admit though..... I'm positive I'd rather meet the dogs than the owners.... :) So, before we got the rain, we had the Blast of summer to be. It got hot and I got a headache. After three days of head splitting pain, I shaved my head. No more mop. I'm glad it's gone and happy to be rid of the headache as well. Even more so I'm happy to be rid of the Jazz lovin Cool Cat stereotype. If one more person had made that reference I'd probably have ended up in jail. That "wanna be" personality reminds me of too many people I'd rather live, not only THIS lifetime, but the next, not being anything like. So I'll stick to a shaved head and scaring women. If only most of the women that look at me like some escaped convict new JUST how badly I wish I didn't have to talk to them at all..... they'd be a hell of a lot more at ease. Census information should be received from the Man of the house anyhow. LOL!! (I can't wait for that feminine scream to rattle!!!)

Now it's been raining for a week. I have 5 adult dogs and four puppies in my house. Five adult dogs means 5 WET DOGS. Yes, the house smells like a giant wet dog has lived here for months. Trust me when I say there's no amount of Febreeze that can remove wet dog stink. Fortunately, the 4 pups that don't smell wet make up for the aggravation caused from making me walk even more in the rain. We're coming up on week 5 this sunday. They're starting to develop personalities and playing together. As much as I try though, I just can't get into these pups. They're not Maggies.

This little fella forgot he's suppose to use the paper.

This little fella decided he didn't under ANY circumstances, like my singing and started howling.

Babs, who I have renamed "Red" (I don't care what the paperwork says) has been the most difficult dog I've had here. Not only does she suffer some serious abuse issues, but she's also a puppy. This translates into a dog who WILL misbehave and I can't scold. Which forces me to exercise NOTHING but positive training. This is so not my style. I believe in positive training, but it always comes out that they positively better listen. I'm the pack leader and I shouldn't have to ASK for anything. When I say STAY, I expect it. When I say OFF, I mean NOW. Red thinks that anytime I say something dominant that she can crawl into the whelping box with her pups. Oh.... then there's Beau who I'm babysitting.... Oh how the gods are laughing at me this week. I not only have Red all afraid and cowering, but Beau can actually look right at me and pretend he can't hear me. Even hooking a leash to his fat ass can't get him to move.

Deep breathing.... Inhale..... Exhale..... Smile in the morning and your WHOLE day will be sunshine!!!! Steve is back home..... YAY!!!! 10 Days is just WAY TOO LONG for him to be gone. Malaysia was just too far away. Turk and Beau go home this sat evening. That'll be two down. Reds pups will go sometime next week and I may talk to Beth about Red too. I can't explain my attitude, but I think I'm just tired. Maggie and her pups really took it out of me. I don't think I have the necessary desire to see Red recover, which isn't good for her and definitely not good for me. Well, it's going on 8am now and I need to get to work. Out there, scattered around the county, like a bulging republican garbage bag that was torn into by wild animals, are those soulless voids waiting for some local Census employee to come knocking on their door. Caught by an invisible thread that I call a static link to a satellite, I will be forced to stand by and smile as the bile spews forth. Fortunately, once that "thread" has completed it's task, I can leave. They might be able to demand that I get off their gun and dog protected property, but they can NEVER make me stay.