My Thoughts on the SuperBowl

Being how this is Super Bowl Weekend and such a "Manly" sort of "Manly" bonding will inevitably take place across America,I thought I would take the time to remind all my testosterone riddled brothers out there to do a testicular exam.Just like changing smoke detector batteries is easiest remembered when we change our clocks forward and backward,Superbowl is the perfect reminder to make sure those little buddies of yours are up for all the ensuing excitement.Get it done and get on with your weekend!!! Good Luck To Ya!!

No Thanks to Politics

Since this blog isn't all about puppies, I thought I'd use it and take an opportunity to say Thank You, but No Thanks to all the kind people who want me to run for town council. I've put some serious thought into, and even dreamed about what my decision should be. I've come to this conclusion. I am not ready to die. Politics destroys the body's ability to fight off disease. Actually, I decided that I'd rather keep fostering puppies. See, Dogs aren't ever ungrateful. They might make mistakes from time to time, but they're always sorry afterwards and best of all.... They mean it. So in my decision to not run for council, I decided I would make an attempt to not be so critical of the decisions that those chosen few will have to make during the next two years. I would try my best to actually make their jobs easier and occasionally thank them for such devoted hard work. I would also do my best at staring blankly into space whenever ANYONE starts to complain to me about this town. Especially since it's usually someone who doesn't contribute. Listening to their belly-ache will only empower them, when what I really wish for, is for them to just shut up. Good Luck to everyone who's running and may you have the best two years of your life.

Life with puppies!

Puppies, just the word brings smiles to most peoples faces and if it doesn't too bad, more for me. Many of you ooh and aah at these tiny little bundles of cuteness who come in literally all shapes colors and sizes, but just as many are unaware of the behind the scenes of puppy rescue and raising. So, before you run out and fill your home with puppies.... read on. First of all, You'll need some place warm, since most pups can't survive the first week without an air temp of around 80 degrees. If it's late spring up to early fall you might just be able to get away with a few blankets in the garage, but if it's winter and you live in a house made for "little" people like I do, this is where they go........ Your dining room. We only ever ate in here once anyhow, so no big loss. It's also temporary, so we can accept it. Then there's all the extra needed space for all those blankets and towels that will never be used for ANYTHING but dogs, ever again. Plus the large bins to hold all the dog food and the dewormer and the supplements for a nursing momma. Then you have the cleaning supplies and the emergency supplies, which should always be reachable from a kneeling position on the floor, which is exactly where you'll be in any emergency involving a dog or puppy. You'll need scales for weighing those wiggly pups every other day. You must make sure they're gaining the proper amount of weight. A bottle or two with "infant" nipples for giving that tiniest puppy a better chance, and last, but not least, a thermometer.... YAY!! In case you're still oblivious..... it doesn't go in their mouth. Then there's the "emergency" bathroom set-up Again, if you're lucky enough to be using that garage I talked about.... GREAT!!! If not, and you have 169 yr old hardwood floors, then you put paper on the nearest linoleum, which happened to be my kitchen of all places, and you pray that Momma learns to pee on paper. Fortunately, we've been blessed with pups that love the Washington Post. Then there's this.... The laundry part. Momma and her pups are at least a daily load of laundry. See, puppies pee.... A LOT. Momma may actually clean up their poop which grosses me out, but their little piddles get absorbed in the bed and it must be washed. Momma is also still bleeding for a few weeks after delivery, which makes for lots of spot cleaning and bleaching of laundry. So now you have all the necessary items in place and a secure comfortable spot for momma to raise her pups in. Now you need to take care of Momma. She can't help but get a little messy and you need to do everything in your power to make sure she doesn't feel bad about needing a little mini shower.... EVERY DAY! Granted she does her best at cleaning, but there's only so much that she can get. Having an extension shower head is the perfect accessory. Daily washing of this caked on blood is the only thing that keeps the smell gone. Lets not forget the sanitary benefits of daily washing. Plus..... THIS momma loves the shower! Again, we were seriously blessed. A happy healthy devoted Momma, with 10 happy and healthy little babies.

Who cares that my mornings start at 5:30!!!!!! I still have two other dogs, 4 cats, Steve and a house to run. Occasionally I try to be social, but these days that's limited to phone calls and e-mails.

Short trips to the store, and the once in awhile visit, from puppy oglers.

Like I said, my day starts between 5:30 and 6am. I take Dash n Roux out for a quick little walk.

I leave them out on the patio while I come in to get Maggie, who's ALWAYS ready to go out.

After all the dogs have greeted one another (like they've been missing for years) we come back in for a feeding frenzy. First I feed momma, because when she's done.... the puppies will need her back. Then I feed Dash n Roux..... always excited to see if maybe just maybe that dream they had where the food bin filled up with prime rib had come true. Unfortunately NOT, but they still eat.

Then it's coffee time, well time to make the coffee. Then I fix Steve's breakfast and get his lunch and vitamins out. I line it all up for that "Dagwood" rush to the door so he makes his train.

I do the dishes, pour my coffee and once again I take the dogs out. This time is a little less chaos, but just as exciting for three pups who can't remember the last time they got to go out.... LOL!

Back inside, they all settle down for awhile, giving me time to photograph grunting pups or to just sit quietly with my coffee and be thankful.

It's hard work, it's dirty work, it's often inconvenient, but no matter what it is at any given moment.... it's ALWAYS worth it.

Bundles of Just Awesome!!

From what I hear there's a few of you that have never gotten the opportunity to witness the birth of anything! Well, as much as I might complain about growing up on a farm, it had it's benefits. I learned that before the cow is done giving birth.... someone OTHER than the calf is gonna get peed on. I've spent long cold evenings with my Dad in the hog house delivering pigs. The old Sows never learned that just because their nose was being warmed by the smudge pot, didn't mean the other end was gettin as much heat. This meant we'd have to gather up the little pigs as they came out, wipe off their mouths and noses so they could breath that fine hog house air and place them closer to the only heat source..... a smudge pot. I learned that life, not only when it's new, but always, is so fragile. So this brings me to my current situation. Birthin' Puppies!! Mother Nature, the Gods... whoever was responsible I don't care, but they did a good job at programming the brain, because Maggie, just like Millions of dogs before her, knew what to do. I pretty much could have stood back and watched, but then that wouldn't be me. The end result is beautiful.... Momma resting for a moment, staring at her beautiful new family. What she probably was thinking was, "Holy Hell.... How Do I Feed 'Em?" and.... "Where's That Bastard Father of Theirs?" Actually, Maggie didn't concern herself with anything or anyone, other than the pups and me, for two days prior to delivery and for two days after delivery. I naturally was concerned for my own safety being how she was a rescue and had only been with us 5 days. How would she react to me being in the room? Would she be aggressive? Could I touch her pups? What if something went wrong and I couldn't get past mommas teeth to help? I really should trust my instincts more. Maggie, even during delivery... (ten times), was a perfect lady. She never made a sound. In fact, we even went for a little walk between numbers 7 and 8. I thought she was done and she didn't fight me, so off we went. The whole process of birthing is quite gross actually. There's nothing pretty about it in fact. There's a LOT of blood and Goo and some of the strangest colors too. When I knew Maggie was ready, OBVIOUSLY about to produce a puppy, I checked the clock. 15 or so minutes later, I got in the kennel with her and did an examination. There indeed was a puppy, I could feel the head. I tried to assist with gentle tugging of and massaging around, the pups head... still nothing. She had been in this stage for almost 20 minutes. I called our vet who told me Maggie was in trouble if it had been that long. At that very moment...... Out came the pup..... I said goodbye to Dr Hough. Apparently my massaging helped. Good Maggie!!! This is Number two.... Still covered in the membrane that Maggie eventually licked off and ate. I would stand by ready with a towel until I saw the pup actually start breathing. Then I would let Maggie finish on her own. Meanwhile, I'd write down the time of birth, which Steve would yell to me from another room, and before they got too active, I would weigh them. Below is number one and two. The first born was the largest. I guess she was "clearing the way", so to speak, for all her siblings. The moment she was born, the TV news announced Senator Kennedy had arrived at the hospital. So we named her Kennedy. She's wrinkly white.... she's fat and she had to bully her way into the world. She's the perfect namesake. Each consecutive delivery was almost predictable. Maggie would start to fidget some and move to the opposite end of the kennel. I would make sure the already clean and dry pups were out of target range and prepare for any emergency that might require my assistance. 1...... 2....... 3......... 4......... 5......... and then 6. Number six was a tiny little boy. He already had cards stacked against him because of his size and then Momma in her feverish attempt to clean and tend to her new pup.... pulled off his umbilical cord. I noticed the color of blood was brighter than it should be..... something was wrong. I picked the little fella up and blood, squirting from where his cord should have been, stained my t-shirt with each of his fading heart beats. Immediately I laid him on a towel, wiped his belly..... found the vein and pinched it off. Fortunately Steve was nearby to help. We tied dental floss around the vein several times... knotting it each time. I sat holding and rubbing and drying the little guy. Momma was frantic with concern, but I couldn't let her have him back until I knew the vein had clotted. Eventually I placed him with momma to feed. He's fine now. ......7........8..........................................9.........................................................10 Three pm to Midnight All healthy and beautiful. Here is the actual sex, time and weight of each pup in order.

F 3:00pm 16.1oz

M 3:29pm 15.9oz

F 3:55pm 15.4oz

F 4:25pm 15.4oz

F 5:04pm 14.1oz

M 5:35pm 12.8oz

M 7:50pm 14.0oz

F 9:15pm 15.4oz

F 10:11pm 14.8oz

F 12:00mid 15.1oz

There's a video or two and eventually I'll get all the pics I've taken, posted. Remember, don't try any of this at home!!! LOL!!! Ten squeaking, fat little bundles of just awesome!!! I'm positive I'll either be in couples therapy or "admitted" somewhere, in about 4 weeks, but what a fun trip getting there.... Huh? Y'all make sure you tell Steve how lucky he is!!!

The Low Down Dirty Inauguration Blues

I've been thinking and talking and yelling about this for a couple days now and although I've waited to calm down there's still no other way to tell this story. Inauguration Day 2009 First of all..... Maggie, our foster pup was in full labor. I even did a tarot card reading to help me decide if I should stay with her or leave with Steve. Ultimately I got dressed and got on the train. I knew Maggie should at least have the natural ability to deliver pups. If she didn't and they died, then perhaps we didn't want more stupid dogs in this world anyhow!! I know.... sounds harsh, but SOME of us need to support Darwin. So We caught the MARC, which we had tickets for, right here in Harpers Ferry. Immediately we were engulfed by such an incredible energy.... a POSITIVE energy. The day had come that we'd all been waiting and hoping and praying for. Cold as hell it was, but our spirit could not be killed.... nope, not today!!! Our conductor told us there might be a delay at Union Station, because they would only unload one train at a time, but it would only be a few minutes. To our Surprise, our train was told to come on in and we were off and on our way. Union Station had it together. There were LARGE signs that read, "This way to Inauguration". Once outside, there were even more signs directing the different colored ticket holders where to go. This is where it got totally stupid and the Chief of Dreamland needs to be fired. A thousand or so people had to continuously cross an intersection filled with a thousand or so smashed together people in the Purple ticket line. It took us 30 minutes to cross this intersection. Later we were told that it was blocked up because Denzyl Washington was being escorted through. WTF.... Couldn't they have just dropped him from a chopper.... on his head? I hate celebrities sometimes. Once through the intersection.... spirits still intact, we plodded forward to the 395 tunnel which would take us under the Capitol to the south side of the mall where the ONE AND ONLY Silver Gate was located. What brainless twit designed this concept. Please, someone tell me how I can find this major idiot... I just want to pummel him like a whack a mole. I got ahead of myself.... The tunnel was a little frightening. First of all I've never been in this tunnel without the security of a vehicle surrounding me and although I've sat in it in a few traffic jams, I always relaxed with the knowledge I would be out soon. I'm not claustrophobic, but this is a large and wide and LONG tunnel. I've heard it many times and I felt it myself that day.....it was almost apocalyptic.... THOUSANDS of people walking side by side laughing and talking and from all races and places and best of all we were one in the spirit. The spirit of Hope and of Change. Walking toward the light at the end of that tunnel!! Upon our exit we were delighted to see we were actually AT our gate entrance. It was then we realized the line for that gate snaked away somewhere out of sight, so we started following it. Just like a child looking to get a glimpse of that spot they can stand in to see Santa, I'm sure we had the same look of hopeful excitement on our own faces. It wasn't until we had turned at least 4 city block corners that we realized we may never see what we had actually come to see. Suddenly, there it was, the end of the line. I couldn't help but feel proud of myself for finding it. See at this point all signs had disappeared. We as a crowd were on our own. There were no security guards telling us what was happening or how long it might be. We just took our place... moving forward step by sloooooooowwww step. Making conversation with the few people around us and still feeling the spirit. That's right, they hadn't killed the spirit!! We were here... In the line with our tickets in hand. We were going to witness what can only be describe as the most historical event in our lifetime so far. We were also feeling the cold. Hell if it hadn't been for the diesel exhaust from all those tour buses parked right next to our line... we all might have froze!! Just for reference, I took this shot. This is where we got in line. 4th and Virginia. Actually we were almost to 6th St. but still on Virginia. I zoomed in to get this shot. This put as almost 7 city blocks from where we needed to be on the mall. OK we thought, there's still time... as long as this line keeps moving we'll be alright. Halfway there and the line's still moving. Yay!!!! We've got like one block to go, to get through the gate and WOW the lines really picking up! People were actually dancing in line.... probably trying to prevent hypothermia, but dancing none-the-less. The pride, the excitement, the overwhelming Joy pounded in my chest and I truly wasn't sure my heart could take it..... and then....... "THE GATES ARE LOCKED" "They're Not Letting Anyone In". The first person we heard this from said it right in front of us and since there were others walking past not saying anything, we just assumed he was some bitter DC queen trying to cause shit since he had to go to the back of the line. But then more and more people said the same thing as they rushed to get to the general admission entrance which was at least 10 blocks from where we were standing. If we went there, it would give us access only after the swearing in was over. We would never make it, after being so close. Could this be happening? Steve and I picked each other up off the ground and made the heart wrenching decision to head back home. I've never felt such painful despair and on that cold dreary walk back through the tunnel I realized that this type of confused security..... this type of absolute contempt for us as Americans..... this blatant smack in the face was a result of 8 years of smug stupidity controlled by the ONLY two terrorists in the world. Yes... bush/cheney. We walked alongside of elderly people cold and saddened through that dark tunnel. This time feeling no spirit, no life at all. Sitting in their vans all warm and laughing were the security. the same people who can't even manage a gated entrance and are expected to protect us from terrorists. BLAH!!! Sitting there all SMUG... yes, I said it again. Wake up you losers!! The big kid is gone from the playground now. You're gonna have to become accountable for your stupidity. Now there's a man in the oval office. A responsible, intelligent, accountable MAN. No longer will we Americans stand by and accept YOUR definition of security levels. No longer will we be subjected to humility at the hands of the people sworn to protect us. No longer will we suffer the embarrassment we've suffered for the past 8 years. I realize today's screwed up event and lack of concern for the Americans attending it, was a direct result of poor leadership from an administration that is OVER, so I accept it. But this is the last time. I expect things will change now, and you Mr Capitol Police Chief, better get with the program, or start looking for another job..... say, in another Country. Maybe Bush needs another "Brownie" down in Texas! You did this, bush. I swore I wouldn't say it, and I swore I wouldn't write it, but there certain things I actually "prayed" for when your plane took off. I guess it would have been bad karma anyhow, but I'm glad you're gone. Now just STAY that way. Steve and I made it through the tunnel. We caught a cab to Dupont Circle, took the metro to Shady Grove and caught an $80.00 cab ride home to WV. On the way home his Blackberry read: "Capitol Police Chief says, Every ticket holder was allowed in". We cried..... For ourselves, but mostly for those elderly people who got there only to be turned away. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyhow... those elderly people, they were black, and yes they lived the hate and the discrimination. Today was their day and someone needs to be held accountable for not caring. This was my last Inauguration. I can't accept what they want me to accept as normal. I refuse to live in fear of attack. We all know 911 was political. If the right people would just stand up and say they screwed up, there would be no war and there wouldn't have been old people with walkers in the cold 395 tunnel. The Capitol Police said the ticketed areas filled up because the people were fat with winter coats. Then they said that too many tickets had been printed. Then came the satellite Image taken way after the gates had been locked, showing those areas were not full. The scared little security guards were just overwhelmed by the immense size of the crowd and didn't have anyone there to tell them what to do. I don't blame them though. This is what happens when you put the village idiot in charge of the village. So we made it home, just in time to see Allegra n Sally walking Dash n Roux (our dogs), down Public Way. They were shocked to see us so soon and saddened when they heard our story. We made it home in time though to be here for...... PUPPIES!!! Maggie, our foster dog was in labor, remember? She started delivering less than an hour after we got back. In that hours time... I started dinner, because I knew I'd "have my hands full", once puppies started coming and I did one other thing. I vented my despair and anger in a letter to the editor of the Washington Post. It was printed in the Special edition, Inaugural Post along with 6 other letters. So, I still got to be a part of history. I'm archived now!!!! Yes, I'll be know in history as the man who said, "The Capitol Police wouldn't know a terrorist threat if it was sitting having lunch with them"! I guess I'll know if the wrong person read it, the next time I try to leave the country. I don't care really. If I upset someone, then at least I still know they're human... and that means there's hope for them yet! It can only get better from here on out..... Right?

Just a Peek!!

Well Maggie waited for me to return home yesterday before she started delivery. 3pm on the dot, her first pup arrived. At exactly 12 midnight she downloaded her last. The entire litter all born on a MOST Historic Day. Here she is about HALF way through the evening. Maggie's not only surprised US, but I think she surprised herself. Count them slowly........ That's right.... 10 little pups. 7 girls and 3 boys. All healthy and all eating. and ALL noisy. Momma did great!! I spent most of each delivery in the crate with her. She's the sweetest most attentive (non aggressive) momma I've ever had the pleasure of gettin dirty with. I'll write more later, but for now I just wanted to share. I think we're all taking a nap now. I just fed Maggie some burger n rice as a "job well done" treat. Now she and all her little younguns are snoozin. Good Job Momma!! btw.... the 1st pup born.... Steve named her Kennedy. The news was covering Ted kennedy just as his little namesake arrived. It seemed appropriate. Here they are all peaceful... Ahhhhh, If only this could last!!!

Puppy Download

Thursday January 15th I drove to the Animal Shelter in Hughesville to pick up another rescue for All 4 The Animals . This is the rescue that brought me Lady and her beautiful 6 Basset babies.

Well now we have Maggie.

She's a luv bug. Not quite sure of the genetic make-up of this girlie. It's been estimated that she's around a year old and yes...... full term.

When she was taken in at the shelter on Dec 3rd she showed no signs of being pregnant, but as the weeks passed, shelter staff started noticing the obvious change in her appearance.

When I got her last friday, she was large, but nothing like what she is now, only 3 days later.

A dogs normal temp is around 101. When an expectant momma is about to deliver pups, her temp will drop a few degrees.

Maggies Temp dropped yesterday to 99.2 I stayed on the sofa last night to keep watch and this morning we still don't have puppies.

I know we're on our way though, because she's exhibiting all the signs. Whining and pacing and panting, and of course the obvious physical changes... udders swelling... other things oozing.

Dash and Roux are a little confused about where this little girl came from or how long she'll be here, but for now at least they all get along. Dash of course is acting like there's a little too much estrogen in the house and prefers to hang out at either mine or Steve's feet, but he's at least being a good host.

The cats on the other hand.... well they've gotten a little exercise these past few days.

Maggie seems to think kitties are for chasing. We introduced her to Xander a couple times up close and she learned otherwise. Kitty claws hurt puppy noses.

Now she just watches them as the slink across the room, but at least she's no longer knocking furniture over to get at them.

So I'm pretty sure we're just hours from the start of puppy download. Keep your fingers crossed for us both. I've been assured that millions of dogs have done this in the past without human assistance. I could also say 1000's have done it alone and died, or at least lost pups. I couldn't and wouldn't want to live with the knowledge I lost Maggie or her pups, just because "dogs have done this alone before".

I'll be there and I'll be taking pictures!!

See ya soon!!!

Oh, and BTW.... Happy MLK Day!!!

..... and just 24 more hours until that village in texas gets it's idiot back!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!

Marching Upward!!

WOW.... What a year 2008 was. Obama and Hillary faced off and in the end those prayers were obviously answered. Then it was Obama and McCain, and there were a few times when we actually thought we might have to move north to Canada, but then McCain went on a hunting trip up in Alaska and found some washed up beauty queen that unfortunately thought he meant VP of Mary Kay Cosmetics and NOT the United States. After McCain made THAT mistake.... Obama simply had to wait till January 20th. There never really was a doubt who would win the election. Well there may have been SOME doubt..... probably in some small village in some war torn country on the CONTINENT of Africa. Anyhow, now that we're caught up..... YAY!!!!! January 20th 2009 is almost here and we're going to the Inauguration. We decided sometime around the afternoon of November 6th that we we had to be there, but then common sense got the best of us and we were like... no way in hell are we fighting those crowds. Record breaking crowds of well-wishers are expected to descend on Washington DC just to witness this historic event. YES.... for the first time in history.... a Village Idiot is being returned to his village. Sorry, for that... I just can't believe he hasn't been arrested yet. Historic.... Momentous...... COLD, those are just a few of the words we've heard describing Inauguration Day. Today, we made a trip into Senator Byrds office to pick up our tickets. Yes, we were two of the lucky hundred or so from just one Senator, to be selected to receive tickets to the silver area for viewing the event. Of course there'll be several THOUSAND people in the area with us. I don't care though.... I'll be there. Here's our ticket.... not much different than the one we and the general public got in the mail except for one important line..... Mall Standing Area - Silver The one that came in the mail said Public Area Viewing Here's a close up of the top half of the ticket. Steve thanked me for not breaking out into song in the Senators office. When I was handed the gold envelope our tickets came in.... I immediately thought of Charlie in Willie Wonka... "I've got a golden Ticket"!! The whole ticket. You can't reproduce this either unless you have your own presidential seal, because the ticket has one on it and it's raised. I know what some of you were thinking.... Bad Bad Bad!!!! :) So after we got our tickets we headed over to the Capitol and got breakfast/lunch. It was ok, but eating in DC always comes with a little shock value. Someone should tell them it doesn't cost that much to make a sandwhich!!! Afterwards we headed around to the front of the capitol and took this shot from one of the two areas we could be in during the inauguration. This would be our view.... if we get there early.... which we probably won't. Speaking of getting there.... we already have our commemorative Inauguration train tickets and I have to say.... they're much fancier than the actual inauguration tickets are. Hmmmm... maybe someone needs to talk to those design people.

See how nice it would be watching from this angle!! We'd get a straight shot view of the Man himself. If our eyes aren't froze shut!!

It was so cold. Apparently there were some kind of cold weather records broken.

All we knew was that our breath froze inside our scarves which in turn froze our scarves to our beards. Once our eyelashes started freezing together we knew it was time to take the pics we wanted and hail a cab. So, the second of the two areas we could possibly be standing in is Here. Not as glamorous as the first, but probably not as many annoying "buffy types" either. It's really only across a street from the first site and this would be our view.

not so close.... but at least.......

....it's not back there by the washington Monument or worse... behind the monument.

So we took one last hope-filled look at our Nations Capitol.

Once again about to become a symbol of pride, I couldn't help but

get all misty-eyed thinking about it.

Many struggles have been fought since the creation of our government.

One of those struggles was for freedom. When Obama take the oath we'll know without a doubt, that that struggle was not in vain. While there are still, so many more struggles to overcome, I'm happy to be able to go with my life partner, my best friend, to an open air event, on the grounds of the Nations Capitol and celebrate Freedom. We can proudly say we were part of making this day happen. My only hope is if the rest of you can't say the same, at least take the time to share in our joy!!

Oh

Bold

And

Mighty

Anabasis

I will hold you accountable to the millions who died with the dream you now see as a reality, but I will also be by your side and hold my self in account as well.

We all still live to dream of equality and fairness. Let us not think the struggle ended, but rather a battle won. We'll see you on January 20th not as our first black President, but as a beacon of hope for our nation.

The Sun's Still Shining!!

Here it is the 14th of January and although we're about to embark on a historical adventure, I need to address a few other issues before I get too excited and forget!! My previous post may have seemed a tad bit dark. The holidays had just come to a screeching halt and I had managed to capture at least one germ from every coughing, sneezing, wheezing, hacking person that had stayed here with us over new years, so next visit they all get surgical masks!! With an empty house, a fresh head cold and Steve gone back to work, I settled in for the gloomy and sometimes nauseating job of UN-Decorating and washing and cleaning up after weeks of busy busy busy. Mind you, I'm doing this with a head as big as a basketball and every time I lean forward, my forehead explodes. Needless to say really, but these tasks took over a week, because the best way for me to deal with a cold like this is to bury it under a pillow.... which I did for several days. I almost forgot... before all the visits and decorations and FOOD, I had actually taken myself to the emergency room with what I was sure was a mild heart attack. After all the ekg's and blood work and xrays... they sent me home with meds for acid reflux. Hmmmmm??? I've since seen another doctor and I'm being scheduled for a heart stress test. We'll see what that shows. Back to me with a cold and a house to clean. After a few days I found it harder and harder to get off the sofa. Depression is a sneaky bastard and he crept up on me while I was asleep. Mornings became evenings and routines became more tedious than ever. Even turning the dogs outside to pee had become a chore. Not to mention showering! Then there was this other thing.... It was soon to be the one year anniversary of when we lost Blaze. Sometimes it seems like he's been gone for years and then other times it feels like just a few months. I'm sure, pretty soon, we'll stop remembering him each month and it will become years and then he'll become a seldom discussed part of our past, but this year was the first. I still remember that cold morning when he and I walked his last walk..... when he looked up at us as he took that last breath. I miss him still. You can visit him here at Rainbows Bridge. Anyhow, I managed to snap out of my funk and return to the land of the pissed off. Having a Catholic Church so near by makes it easy for me to vent my aggression. I learned that having a cause often puts me back on track and tears me from the grip of that evil depression monster, and in less than a month we have our new sign out front telling all those hypocrites that attend St Peters, "No Parking"! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course it's only taken me four years of calling the police and photographing dumb ass drivers, and arguing with self righteous idiots and being called all sorts of names by those wonderful self proclaimed christians. We've had our property damaged and our rights violated so many times I've lost count. Most recently, our local police dept neglected to respond to our call for help with the traffic problem in front of our home, so I called the Mayor. Thus, our sign is being installed. I guess he's realizing the Big Idiot in the White House is OUTTA HERE, so he won't be able to use him any longer as an excuse for denying us our rights. For whatever reason he's finally seen the light, I'm glad, now if we can just get "HF 911" to enforce it!! My mood has improved drastically. My cholesterol level is great!! No more "acid reflux" and on top of all this..... we got called by Senator Byrd's office, letting us know we got two tickets to the Inauguration. WOOHOO. Not only do we get to see history made... we get to watch Bush do the walk of shame. I guess that's all for today, well at least this post... who knows what might inspire me in a few hours. I'm leaving all the good Inauguration stuff for a post all it's own. We're starting to hear more and more about not only the Obama's moving in, but The bush's movin out!!! The entire time Steve and I have lived here in the Ferry, we've been suffering the bush administration. Finally, there's a light in our future..... every ones future!!! The Bush regime will end when he releases his book, "Mein Kampf " . That's when even the most ignorant will see what a terrible mistake the last 8 years have been. Well, I'm off of here for now. I hope you all have a wonderful day and remember, the small joys in life are the best and rope is inexpensive!!

I saw the sun today

For days I've been a hollow shell with fingers made of lead that fell upon the keyboard loud and angry. Hurting... pain and loneliness surrounds me every second of the day. The memory of recent laughter seems lost in some clouded distant past. I lie awake and wish for sleep. I sleep and am constantly reminded in my dreams that I wear a cloak of despair. I wake and I wish for sleep. I've been here before. I hate myself for feeling this way and I hate the world for not noticing, yet I would deny anything was wrong if someone asked. All I need is some sunshine but how do I put my shoes on. Why do I care if I feel better. Nobody else does. I know this is temporary, but it's so debilitating. The anger the pain the dark shadows that surround everything and everyone. What's HIS problem.... .what's SHE looking at???? Why can't they see I'm a time bomb and leave me alone? Why can't they see I'm bleeding.................... I'm dying inside. My only solace is darkness............. food.... close the curtains and feed the sadness. The phone rings and I laugh.... tell a joke..... make them laugh...... make them think all is well. The phone rings and I can't even look at it. If I answer I'll have to be someone I can't be right now...... so I let the machine get it. I listen to the message and I don't care. Why should I..... what difference could I have made by answering the call.... none. Nobody needs hollow answers. Back to my darkness... back to my wish for sleep. What comes of unanswered desire? Silent rage replaces hope and the pain in my chest grows slowly like the sound of a solo drum beat in the distance. Could I truly be going insane? Why am I concerned? With insanity comes compassion, right? Insanity is recognizable and well...... no I'm not insane.... I'm only one of the millions lost in an inescapable fog of skull crushing sadness they call depression. I'm better now. I saw the sun today. :)