More

How am I not More?
The power to change my existence is mine.

Mindlessly moving, absent from the reality of whats going on around me.
I find myself more and more lost in my own mind.
Memories made are soon memories lost to dreams.
Wandering as a ghost among those living my life.
Why is everyone so sad, so angry, so alone?
The hate, the pain, the deception......
Would it change if my heart could beat, could feel, could love?

How am I not More?
The will to change my existence isn't mine.

The faces that stare, cold and without souls.....
only mirroring what lies just under my skin.
I have seen you many times before.
I have closed my eyes and wished you away.
I have fallen too many times from the weight of your critical judgment.
Escaping the monster lingering only a breath away....
This chill I feel isn't winter, but still it burns my throat.

How am I not More?
The fate of my existence is doomed.

Fatalistic, malcontent, aggressive, bossy, angry...
Just words, not labels, just words, not meant, just words.
Breathe, Smile, Laugh, walk away...
Never let them see the real you
Nobody can handle your real face, all scarred and bleeding.
The gaping hole where your heart belongs
No longer able to disguise or hide the husk of ravaged flesh you've become.

How was I not More?

Make Wonderful Things Happen (Letter to Richie)

 Jan 16th 1985, my life changed forever.
I was given the most beautiful baby girl. Something I felt then
and have felt often since, that I didn't deserve.
She was 3 months old the first time I held her in my arms.
To this day I can still remember how I had to sit down to hold her
because I thought I'd pass out from joy and exhilaration.
It took 20 minutes to stop the tears so that I could see her clearly.
I experienced emotion I'd never known before and it took my breath away.



She used to steal my AF Beret and wear it around the house. She was especially cute when she tried it
standing in my boots. I was probably guilty of spoiling her... yes, I'll admit it, but not bad spoiled.
She knew I was wrapped around her finger. I couldn't tell her no. Too afraid to make her cry I guess.

I'm not sure how much you know about her childhood.
Sadly I still feel today like I failed her and her brother and sister.  I lost my kids... There was so much of Cathy's life taken from me. This was also when the Joy was taken from her.
I knew something was wrong but what could I Do..... I was "just the Dad" according to a very flawed system. So I just watched and listened and hurt for her. Standing silent and helpless.

 A smile is something that should warm your heart.
When it's only there to mask the pain it's not real.
Cathy's been looking for real for many yrs. I truly believe she has found it, in you.
I finally see joy in her smile. I hear happiness in her laughter.
I hear contentment when I'm on the phone with her.
You've somehow managed to bring back to me that happy little girl I lost so many yrs ago.

Fortunately, Cathy has the heart of a fighter and made her way through the crap hand that she was dealt.
I almost lost her for good, but she wanted to know for herself, if the father she had been told was worthless, really was. I'm happy to say I never matched her mothers OR grandmothers description of me.
I'm not sure how sad and lonely my life would be without her. I hope to never find out.
I can't imagine living without her laughter, her sarcasm, her smile.

School photos and pictures taken, when she was visiting other relatives, always trickled to me and I've kept every one of them. Cards and magnets made in school, plastic bead necklaces, crafts from can tabs.... I have them all. Always from the sidelines watching her grow, watching how beautiful she was becoming.
Living through so many moments of sadness and torment and frustration only to trust again and be fooled.
Finally, has fate delivered an honest man for her? Are we to suspend suspicion and place faith once again in the hands and the heart of another?

That little baby that took my breath away, The little girl that could make me laugh and suddenly have energy to play after a 14 hr shift, still covered in camo paint, The young woman who took life by her own reigns and made herself into the force that she is today. I am in Awe of her and would give my own life to protect her.
I've stood silent for too much of her life. I even stood silently on the side of the highway, the night we almost lost her. I watched helplessly while the helicopter took off and it took my breath away.

There are few moments in my life that bear such significance as the birth of my grandson.
I was not prepared for this at all. I think I've done a pretty good job of concealing most of my joy.... LOL!!
Whatever... I'm not a poet OR a writer, so to try and explain what changed in me that day would be a waste of my time. If I actually knew what neurons were I might say I could feel them bursting in my brain. I went deaf, I lost my voice, I couldn't quit smiling and when I finally did stop.... hours later.... I collapsed into the deepest and most contented sleep ever.
I was a Grandfather. I had the most beautiful grandson ever by the most beautiful daughter ever!! How could this happen to ME? I didn't deserve this. Hadn't the world squashed over and over again my rights to such happiness? No, THIS time it was my daughter who said it was ok. This time it was my little girl who would, once again, take my breath away.

So, it's been almost 30 years since that day long ago, in that airport in San Antonio, TX when I first held my baby girl. 30 yrs of tears and laughter and anxious moments and fear and stress and love and anger and trust and doubt. Three Decades of wonder and joy and surprise and learning and accepting. Friends and family lost and gained, shoulders sagged with worry and sadness, but here, 30 yrs later we are, decisions to be made and love to be nurtured.

Here I Am, 50 yrs old, grey and getting greyer. Old and getting tired. Not sure how much longer I'll be allowed to stand on the sidelines to watch and protect. So, I've decided to change things up a little.
Instead of standing silently by and watching and WAITING....... I'm going to tell you how it should be... how it will be.
It's 10:30 on a weeknight, so you're most likely holding in your arms one of the most precious, priceless and irreplaceable people in my life. It's been way too many yrs since I've seen or heard her this happy.
As I said earlier.... you make her smile like the little girl I lost so long ago. I know it's just a matter of time before you come to me and ask the big question, so here goes.
Yes, Richie, You May Marry My Daughter.
Only if you promise to continue to love her the way you already are. To cherish her smile, to hold her close and to protect her with your own life. I give to you the honor of being her Husband, her friend, her partner.
I hand you the responsibility and the magic. Take her and make wonderful things happen.
I love you both.


                      Dad


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPDATE .... Less than 12 hrs later.....
Guess who got engaged????
YAY!!! I can hear little girl laughter all around today!!!
Love you so much. Can't wait for that walk!!

54 More

Despite our arguments and differences growing up, you always knew when to be the older brother. You knew what to say, whether or not I planned on listening.
I miss the laughter, the sweet twang when you called someone a Dumbass.
So many of my friends just don't understand how that can be an endearing term.
I guess it's because they never had you for an older brother.

You used to throw the hardest snowballs, and they Always hurt.
The day I ambushed you with that pile of snowballs I had frozen into chunks of ice, you admitted to me later that I was pretty smart thinking of that.
This was told to me while you were sitting on me making me eat dirt, but it didn't matter, because you were proud of me.

I survived adolescence because of your priceless knowledge. You gave me my first Porn Mag. It was one you had already memorized, but I cherished it...... Until mom found it and gave it to Dad.
Who knew there so many names for so many things and that I wouldn't actually go blind doing "it"??

You used to pick on me so much and at the time I never knew it was because you too were being picked on. I just thought you hated me.
I remember the day at the Sawmill when Dad got tired of you poking at me and broke that tobacco stick across your shoulders. You cried hard because of that, but not as much as I did for getting you in trouble. I never told you I was sorry.

One evening, running down behind the Big Barn to get the cows in before a bad storm,
you stepped on a rusty nail sticking up through a short board.
I got my red wagon and pulled you all the way to the house so Mom n Dad could doctor you. Damn you were heavy.

You saved me often, too drunk to drive, and taught me Hair of the dog in the morning.

You'd roll your eyes when you'd meet my girlfriends and I never knew why.
Years later you confessed knowledge of what took me too long to figure out.

You showed up at my wedding with an extra car and tried to force me to take the keys and run. How many times I wish I had listened to you, but then I wouldn't have my beautiful children.

When my life turned upside down and Gay, you never blinked an eye and accepted me for who you always knew I was.
I remember that late night in your garage where you so delicately told me how there were Other guys out there that I could call my "friend". You never liked "him" and again I should have listened. I'm happy you liked Steve.

I could fill pages with memories of you. You were kind with an immediate and accurate sense of sarcasm. We shared some awesome times together and some not so great.
I'll never forget Dads funeral when we both stood silently outside the church, each with tears falling. Why was it so hard to say how we felt?

Fifty Four was Way too soon to lose you. We were supposed to grow old and grumpy together. Mona still needs you and although your boys will continue to make you proud, they need their Dad as well. I don't know what I can do to help them, but I will make myself available. This world is a sad sad place with you not in it.
I met that beautiful grandson of yours today. What a handsome little man. I swear he was looking for you, so I let him tug on my beard instead.

I'm not sure how I'll get through this. It's hard to breathe.
I saw Mona and the boys today. They're all hurting and still numb.
I hugged them all as hard as I could.
I just want you to know, I've held it together for everyone else so far, but tonight I'm gonna cry. You were cheated of so much life. It's not fair.... it's just not fair. I miss you, Edward. I'm being selfish, but I want 54 more.
Say Hello to everyone for me.... you're with the Angels now.

I Killed Your Dog Today

I Killed Your Dog Today

That's what I want the message to Blues owners, to say.
After you refused to socialize him and train him, and instead, most likely

beat him when he had an accident or chewed on something,

he naturally became defensive and fearful.

Now, a few yrs later, Such a sweet loving, playful boy could turn in an instant and become a terrifying monster. This doesn't just happen... this is made.
How has society allowed monsters like you to keep destroying these potential best friends? How have we made it ok for you to just drop off at a shelter, something whose spirit you killed a long time ago with your hate and anger?

Blue wanted life....
I know this, because I saw it in his eyes.
Sadly I felt the fear in his heart too. That was the fear that caused him to not trust humans. Unfortunately his bite was too unpredictable and too painful to allow Blue to live. He had been given a death sentence even before we pulled him from the shelter, but we thought, we hoped and yes we may have even prayed that once in a calm home, he would settle down and forget the painful life he must've endured up till now.

 

Blue LOVED to be loved on. He loved kisses and scratching and having his ears rubbed. He would sit for treats and OMG... if he saw a ball, the game was on.

                            

He liked ALL the other dogs in the house and he even got along well with the cats.
What was there to not love about this fella?
Oh, well he needed a bath and he could use a good brushing, and there was that whole testicle thing (which we took care of)
and oh yes.... he allegedly was a biter.
I tried... I poked, I prodded, I pulled, I stalked, I shouted, I stomped..... nothing.
All Blue would do is wag his tail and lick me. I loved this dog.

Four Days.
That's how long it took before Blue showed us he knew how to bite and when he did, he left 3 large puncture wounds. Unprovoked and completely by surprise, we were baffled as to why!
Saturday and Sunday I sweated the decision. I made excuses for him. I dreamed up outlandish options for how to care for him. Special Muzzles and crates and medications and none of it was right. Blue was a biter and over the weekend, as he got more and more comfortable in the house, his dominance came through. It manifested itself at the food bowl when my boot got too close and he almost ate it off with my foot in it. When I tried to put his leash on and he tried to take my hand off. Placing him in the crate, he'd give a growl and that sideways look of challenge.

I can't begin to describe the pain of watching a dog die.
Some just fall asleep on the table while others snort and thrash and some like Blue,
Throw their head High and Howl.
That's what Blue did... He left this world nose straight in the air howling for all he was worth and as his body slumped into eternal sleep, I cried for him.
I had told him I was sorry, but those are empty words when you're taking a life.
I Killed a Dog Today.

Rest in Peace Little Man
I loved you for the very short time I knew you.
I hugged and I kissed and I scratched and I meant it.
I am So Sorry.

~~~~ Blue ~~~~
2013

One Delusional Fruit Fly

Ten yrs ago, I made the horrible mistake of becoming friends with my THIRD Fatal Attraction. Yes, the THIRD woman who would make improper sexual advances at me
even though she was fully aware that I was gay and in a happy relationship.
Fortunately I managed to end the first two, but this last one lingered like a bad STD.
A bad friendship that involved her adopting several dogs from me and me, cats from her and hours and days of drama every time she got fired from yet ANOTHER job, or had to move, because having 50 cats was too much for her small home.

Several months ago, She posted on my FB page a picture of a pitbull in a NYC Shelter.
I told her no... MANY times, but she kept hounding me and calling and begging me to take Pepsi. Finally I gave in and the day she arrived, Lori even tried begging me to take two others she had brought with her. All three of these dogs were at deaths door.
I told her NO AGAIN, and took the Pittie, Pepsi.
Pepsi was so sick, she had infected mammary tumors that were oozing puss, an upper respiratory infection that was so bad it took my vet three times to find an anti-biotic that would work. By this time, every dog in my rescue was sick including a litter of three week old puppies. Two of those puppies died. Did Lori ever apologize... NO.
Oh, yes, I forgot, The dogs had been transported by one miss Tammy Darrow. A Pug Rescue from the Eastern Shore of Md. When she took the dogs, she failed to tell ANYONE from the NYC group that she WOULD NOT be keeping the dogs. She and Lori BOTH knew Pepsi was coming to me and told me NOT to tell the group from NY.
I DID contact the group from NYC, because Pepsi was in such terrible condition. They also had her listed as a male with no health issues.
Little did I know when I agreed to take Pepsi that she had sponsors for an amount exceeding $1200. I received $60.
After I talked with the NYC Rescue Group that coordinated pulling dogs from that shelter, apparently they severed ties with Tammy Darrow and Lori Bartles and anyone affiliated with the Pug Rescue that Tammy Runs.
This was an unfortunate thing to happen, because it's "SUPPOSED" to be about the dogs, NOT about personal pride.
Pepsi got the best care I could give her, and she really turned around. The one thing we could not do however, was cure the cancer that took her. We lost Pepsi. She passed and joined the two puppies that passed before her.

So Now we jump fwd a few months. My Own beautiful little Pom, Lexi passes away.
The sunshine in my life, the reason I smiled every day.
By this time, I have ceased communication with Lori. Too many years of her drama and the whole stressful issue with Pepsi broke the straw.
I started my search for a dog to replace Lexi. I knew I couldn't replace her, but I need, what I called, a small fluffy.
That's when I found Honey. a beautiful little pom with a rescue in NC.
I filled out the app, waited for weeks while they did the calls and checked the references and finally the day came when we would go get her.
It took us 9 hours to drive to somehole NC. I realized when I met Honey that she may not be the dog for me, but she was miserable laying in her crate under the table. There were so many dogs in the house and every time one would pass through the room, she would come out barking. I figured I could give her a quieter home since all we had here were senior dogs. I paid the adoption fee and we left.
From that moment, Honey did not like me. She wouldn't look at me and every time I tried to pick her up she would snap and try to bite me. There were many witnesses to this. Two weeks after we got her home, I put her up for adoption. For years now I've had an agreement with the local humane society where they'll hold dogs for me to be adopted. Most of these dogs have been dogs I fostered for them, but several have been my own. These dogs are never in danger of being pts. If they're not adopted after a short while, they come back to my home.
This was the case with Honey, who we now called Penny.
The second day she was there, I spent the day with her in the lobby of the shelter. The 3rd day, she was pulled by .... wait for it.... wait for it.....
Tammy Darrow and her Pug Rescue.
They pulled Penny for FREE.
Who picked her up? Wait for it..... wait for it......
Lori Bartles, my fatal attraction fruit fly.

It was their combined effort to not "rescue" this dog. She was in no danger.
Their intention was to return her TO the rescue in NC, and try to discredit my Rescue.
They BOTH knew that Penny was at the shelter because they were BOTH trolling my rescue page.

So, that's when the Bible Belt Bitches descended on my fb page.
I was...... well, even my cussing doesn't compare to the language they used.
Ultimately, they painted me out to be a horrible person that should Never be allowed to do rescue work. I'm fine with that. Maybe sorry asses like them would stop calling my house then when their dog is no longer a puppy.
According to the NC rescue, I was guilty of failing to comply with the adoption contract that said I would call them if I could no longer care for the dog.
I assumed that since I had placed several hundred dogs in the last few years, I could place one more. Lori and Tammy saw their opportunity and jumped.

Ultimately, Yesterday was a day spent listening to a bunch of bored people who need hobbies, yack and yack and yack on FB. They're perfect and nobody else is.

I would like to point out this one fact. When you read the following comments that I copied from pawfectmatch Rescues FB page, pay close attention to the part where Lori says
"as a rescuer for a reputable organization, I know the rules."
I guess they only apply when she's disappointed in Me or upset because I didn't call her back.
Blatantly Lying to the rescue Group in NYC was OK, but ME, realizing a dog I adopted (with an adoption fee) was unhappy in my home and trying to find her a better home, was evil.
Lori Nor Tammy ever contacted me when they pulled Penny. They had her for over three weeks and planned the day very carefully, when they would suddenly feel "obligated" to do the right thing.

The Following is text from Pawfectmatch Rescues Facebook page.
It's Lori, the Fatal Attraction burying herself.
The sad reality of her life is....
Nobody is EVER going to sleep with her, especially ME.
Steve warned me of her, Years ago and I didn't listen.


Lori Bartles I wanted to have a private conversation. Sorry I missed your call, I was outside. I won't fight w/ you and I will email a longer response. FIRST of all: I did NOT DUMP Pepsi on you. I shared a post. You volunteered to take her. But thats another story we need to discuss where you disappointed me. As for Honey/Penny/Peaches: I knew you ADOPTED her for your own personal pet. When I saw her at the shelter, old, terrified & deaf, my heart just broke. Not just for her, but for all I had believed & defended about my friend. I was SICKENED. I had NO room for her, but I could not sleep leaving her in a shelter at that age. She's a lovely old girl who has been a perfect angel. I did not adopt her, I pulled her to rescue so she could foster in my home until I could find a perfect forever home, just like all the others I foster. And I had a badly needed dental done for her. I agonized until I was sick over this decision to contact the rescue. I knew the shit storm would follow. But as a rescuer for a reputable organization, I know the rules. It was my obligation to give them the opportunity to reclaim their dog if they wanted to. I spent hours upon hours coordinating her return. As for the shelter, I was never told she bit or disliked men. I was told she had no issues & she was surrendered due to lack of room. And I received NO medication. Honey is back home with her foster now, where she will stay I'm told. She's been thru enough at 14. I did what I had to do, because it was the right thing to do.

16 hours ago · Like

Lori Bartles Then he called me a shitty ex-friend:

16 hours ago · Like

Lori Bartles Shit for a friend? Like when you ignored my requests & messed up our relationship w/ NY & the dogs paid the price? Like when you ignored my requests for advice when my Squirt was sick? Like when you couldn't even be BOTHERED to call or even post a message to me when I was devastated over the loss of the dog I loved EVERY BIT as much as you did Lexi? The dog I adopted from YOU! Like when I drive an hour to see you & you act like my presence is an imposition & can't even offer a glass of tea? I've been mourning the loss of a dear friend for over a year. But I STILL defended you, your mouth & your actions to those who talked badly about you. Until Honey... my eyes were opened. You have not been mt friend for a very long time. And it broke my heart.

16 hours ago · Like

Lori Bartles Unfortunately my computer crashed before I could copy & save all of your responses & lovely messages of support for me. But I think I saw most of them.

16 hours ago · Like

Lori Bartles Honey was happy here, but she never smiled like she did in Aida's pictures. She's back where she belongs. Good life sweet girl.

16 hours ago · Like

WVbuddies Rescue Lori, the Shelter has copies of your questionnaire and your adoption contract as well...... Where you stated you were "adopting' the dog for your personal dog. Maybe if they knew you already had several personal dogs and about 50 cats they would have changed their minds. You are a spiteful unhappy person who attacks every person that you claim has ever done you wrong.... for example, the last 10 places that fired you.

16 hours ago · Like

WVbuddies Rescue I never placed Honey in harms way. I never abused or neglected her. I placed her at the shelter under my supervision to be adopted. An agreement I have had with that shelter for many years. She was never in danger of being pts and the other dog you claimed you saved, was coming to me the very next day for rehab.
Had you left well enough alone, Honey would have very well been adopted into a wonderful home. YOU interfered and caused this whole ruckus.

16 hours ago · Like

Lori Bartles LOL! More lies Dean? Really? I'm so stunned at who you've become. Stunned & disappointed. You know full well there is no adoption contract, no questionnaire, she was not adopted, she was pulled by Celebrating Pugs Rescue, that's why there was no adoption fee. My name is not even on the paperwork. She was pulled, by phone, by the rescue director. I merely picked her up & agreed to foster her. It was the shelter who gave me all of YOUR adoption paperwork which allowed me to contact Pawfect. And you have not been to my home in YEARS & have barely spoken to me in two. You know NOTHING about my life or my cats or dogs. You just make up shit to deflect the truth when you do wrong. Now go away & leave me alone.

15 hours ago · Like · 1

Lori Bartles Oh, and I'm quite happy, noones done me wrong but you, here today. And I've attacked no one, only defended myself against your lies & accusations.

15 hours ago · Like · 1

Lori Bartles Honey is home. That's all I wanted. Lets put this to rest & done. AND GO SAVE SOME DOGS!! :D


I'm guessing the Large Smile that Lori ended with is supposed to make us all feel better. For some reason it makes me wonder when she's going to boil my rabbit.

Refused to be Broken

Meet Solomon (Solly),

Last Friday the 17th, Solly was in the wrong getto at the wrong time. His caregiver had allowed him to live in a pigsty of a home with a very aggressive man. I feel absolutely NO compassion for a woman who neglects her children or pets and continues to live under the abusive hand of a man with no penis... (I can only assume). Sure, let him beat the crap out of you if that's what you want, but your children and your pets should have been spared this. You could have cleaned the house for them too... I seriously doubt you were too beaten to clean. Child Protective Services removed the children from BOTH parents.
Now for the sorry son of a bitch that did the beating and abusing. There's not even a good enough place in hell for you. Any man that uses dominance and fear to make his way through life, is a coward. Beating the people and animals around you into submission in order to feel powerful? What kind of childhood hell did you suffer? Were you dropped on your head or was it that your mother should have never kept a baby fathered by her brother?
For whatever reason you decided it was ok to not only beat your woman and your children but to take a small defenseless dog and try to kill it, let me say this to you.
You were horribly mistaken.
I do not wish you harm, however, I wish you time to reflect and the realization that you are a monster and that all the pain inflicted by you, consume you, until it becomes so unbearable that you end your own life.
This being said and wholly felt be me and many others, I turn my positive and rehabilitative focus on the dog you could not break.





Sweet Little Solly

May 17th 2013, Solly was in his home when he was attacked by a man who thought it normal to beat his wife and kids. Today, that man thought he could hurt his family even more by grabbing their 6 lb puppy and trying to kill it.
First he took it by both back legs and tried tearing him in half.
When that didn't work, he slung the little dog by one leg into the wall.
When he realized the pup wasn't yet dead, he grabbed him once more, this time with both hands, and tried to break the dog in half over his knee.
Now paralyzed and crying in pain, his idiot ower called her mommy to come over and help.
Mommy arrived with the police and they eventually transported the dog to the emergency vet. On the way there, they stopped to get some kind of legal stay the fuck away order for the man with no dick. Fortunately they crossed paths with a very caring lady from the Humane Society who insisted they relinquish the dog.
They agreed and the officer and the dogs owners mother took Solly to the vet.
The City Officer and the owner declined treatment at this point.
Neither could afford it.
The vet suggested Euthanasia.
The Nice lady from the Humane Society said NO.
That's when I got my call, asking, "could I help". Could I dedicate the next 3 to 12 months to rehabbing a little dog that may or may not recover? Would I be able to do physical therapy on a tiny creature who had suffered terrible abuse.
I said YES.

 

Monday morning the 20th of May, came and I arrived at the vets office to meet my newest angel. His name at the time was Buddy, but we soon changed that and added him to the list of beautiful fluffy white fellas that have touched our hearts.
Moses, Noah and now Solomon (Solly).

Hind limb Paresis
Traumatic Disc Herniation
Possible Spinal Cord Hemorrhage.
He was placed on an IV and urinary catheter.

Upon his release to me, it was determined he had no control of urination or defecation.
He would have to have both expressed. They also determined he could feel no pain in his rear end nor did he have any control over movement of those limbs.

Well, here it is May 22nd 2013 and Solly can (with little assistance) stand on his own.
He's able to retract and extend his rear left leg with some discomfort. His left rear leg is still very sore and may require more time.
His bladder and bowel movements are improving and although he still requires our assistance, he's improving. He's also giving us many tail wags!!!!

So, Continue to pray for or send healing energy or whatever positive thoughts you can muster, for this little man. He's got a long way to go and most likely, surgeries and such. I only hope, for as long as he's with us, that he's happy.

Day two comes to an end.
Deep dark eyes stare at me from behind a cage door.
I open the door, giving this fearful little creature a reassuring caress.
I want him to know he'll never be hurt again.
I want him to know I'll do everything in my power to make him better.
I want him to know my rescue heart is whole again for the little dog that
Refused to be Broken



For Every Tear Cried

 

Every Tear Cried

 

Moses survived for 9 months in our care.
He was malnourished, anemic & lyme positive.
He was also deaf and mostly blind.
What looks like dirt in this pic, is actually fleas.

I was being scolded during an adoption event by a rather irate attendee, who was upset about Rescue Fees being so high. I was told that Animal Rescues were, and I quote……… “just getting rich off of animals they get for free”.
Well, rather than cut the head of this person off and give it to the dogs to play with, which is totally what I had already imagined while watching their mouth flap about, I decided to agree with them and attempted to recalculate what a dog adoption fee should be.

So I figured it out that I should charge $5 for…….
Every tear cried while gently clipping the matted fur
from a mangled and neglected dog.
Every tear cried when caressing the gaunt boney frame
of a starved, nearly dead family pet.
Every tear cried when pushing an IV needle into the vein of
an emaciated dog who’s stomach had long ago quit being hungry.
Every tear cried when x-rays revealed the number of broken
bones that were left to heal on their own.
Every tear cried when sick malnourished mamas were left to
give birth, with no way to feed their pups.
Every tear cried when newborn pups died because
they were starved In Utero.
Every tear cried when death wasn’t such a bad thing………

It was then, that I realized my fees weren’t so high.
They were actually quite low.
See, I had already figured this out ahead of this encounter.
Since I know I could never charge Millions of dollars for a rescued dog,
I started taking my payment before they ever left my care.

$100 for…
Every tear cried when a blind dog licks my face.
Every tear cried when a new mama won't let me leave her side.
Every tear cried when a mangled, neglected pet stands on their own
and shakes free the stress and worry of ever being forgotten again.
Every tear cried when a starving dog no longer needs an IV to eat.
Every tear cried when splints and casts get removed and running
and playing is no longer painful.
Every tear cried when puppies are born strong and healthy.
Every tear cried when death isn’t the only option……..

              Crystal passed away from kidney failure.

Her owner had dementia and two dogs.
One of those dogs was food aggressive.
It wasn't Crystal. She starved to death.

Hazel lost 5 of her 9 pups.
She and the remaining 4 were brought back to life and were happily adopted.

Abby's owner neglected her and then died.
The family abandoned her at the shelter.
She's now Happy and loving her new mommy!

Vala was crated and put away in a shed to starve
by her mentally handicapped owner.
She recovered, but the damage she suffered had made her
too aggressive to trust and sadly after months of rehab,
the decision was made to have her pts.

Rocky was covered with mange.
3 months of baths and meds and LOTS of love and hugs.
He now rules a small farm in PA.....
with a full coat of fur!

So the next time anyone asks you, "How much is the dog"?
Tell them, you lost count of the tears too long ago to be able to answer that.
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