Yes, it hurts. Yes, we miss him terrible. This morning I finally had that moment of release I knew would come. I guess i had just braced myself against weeping until things were settled.
For whatever reason I waited, I'm glad I did.
Marquis suffered in his last hour here with us. Throat opened, stomach opened, back broken... he hissed at me as I ran to him that night. When he heard my voice he calmed down.
It's funny how a cat that was so particular about how and when he allowed us to pet him, somehow thought he was safe when he heard me. If only I could have lived up to his expectations.
I wrapped his tortured bleeding body in my coat and carried him for the last time up the steps.
I wasn't going to make him suffer the 45 minute drive to the emergency vet. I ended it for him.
I'm So Sorry marquis. I'm so so sorry, buddy.
I did it fast and although some may say it inhumane, he was in such pain and completely paralyzed.
He's at peace now. As I laid him in his grave, I asked his forgiveness one last time and wished him a safe and happy journey over rainbows bridge. I told him he could go see Blaze again. Blaze practically mothered Marquis and his brother Xander as kittens. Blaze was the reason Marquis was so trusting of dogs. The same trust that most likely got him killed.
OK... Whew... I had to take a break.
I'm NOT pressing charges against the owners of the dog that did this.
I scouted through town and made it very clear every place I stopped that I wished for them to contact us.
Yesterday evening two very remorseful and apologetic people called the house.
Completely distraught, we talked for almost an hour about the seriousness of not only what their dog did, but what their dog IS. They realize they not only own a rescued pitbull, but they have one with some serious aggression issues.
We discussed options, from euthanasia to a lifetime of behavioral training.
Electric fences, shock collars, muzzles, educating all family, friends and neighbors about the dog and having their quality of life completely disrupted for the life of their dog.
I tried to impress upon them, how committing yourself to a life of providing a good home for an animal is completely different from keeping an animal in your home that could ultimately COST you your home. They have a very hard decision to make and I made sure they knew their decision was going to be just as hard as the one I had to suffer.
Our conversation turned a corner when they asked what THEY could do for us.
Marquis came from Berkeley County Humane Society. This is where Blaze, Turk, Obie, Chief, Trooper, Dash, Roux, Xander AND Marquis came from, so you can see we support them quite a bit. They plan on making a substantial contribution to this Humane Society in Marquis name.
They're also willing to work with me on developing an education program for the community.
I stressed the need to teach potential and current dog owners of the absolute necessity to socialize their dogs. Not only does proper socializing help the animal, but a well organized dog community/dog park/dog friendly neighborhood, is one of the strongest fibres holding neighborhoods together today.
I believe that maybe this was my calling all along. I can do this. I can get us a dog park. I can educate in the schools not only the need for K9 Social skills, but the proper handling of dogs.
Yes, this can be done, and we're going to use Gracie the Pitbull that killed Marquis as a teaching tool. She will be the example..... that is of course if her owners don't make the decision to put her down.
I doubt they will, because she's young. She can be rehabilitated and if they can fathom the life they must live from this moment on, she can remain a member of their family.
Either way, they're willing to work with me on this program.
The animal control officer called me back and was a little shocked to hear I wouldn't be pressing charges. I told her I didn't want to be one of "those people". the world already had enough of them. If I'm to be the change I want to see, then I need to mourn the loss of Marquis in the privacy of my own home in order to make a difference. A court room battle and a lawsuit will not bring him back. A level head can possibly prevent this from happening to someone else.
So, in Memory of Marquis, I'm making it my goal to educate as many people as I possibly can, about the need for, and the dangers of not, properly socializing their dog.
All things happen for a reason. It's how this puzzle was put together. I don't believe Marquis died senselessly. I do believe however, his death was a wake-up call.
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3 comments:
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your dear pet. I think you may be right - you have the calling. Your passion for forgotten and abused animals has brought you to this point. Yes, it's sad to loose a special pet to bring it clear - but now the path is visible.
When we move back down county this summer, we will be checking the animal shelter to see if we can find a pet that will be a companion for Shannon.
Just know, I am also looking for the path I'm supposed to go. I don't see it as a 9-5 job, nor is it as a stay at home mom.
Hugs- B.A.
hugs to both you and Steve....
this has been a really hard week for you two.
how awesome and unselfish it is how you can find the proverbial silver lining and will take the high road -- so many people let anger and emotion guide them exclusively. the damage you could impose on the owners of the pit is astronomical on many different levels, but it would never bring back Marquis, or fix the original problem.
for all those who read your blog, I just have to add this: I am an owner of a dog that is non-confrontational and non-aggressive, but in 2005 was sick and provoked and caused (mostly superficial facial, but that never matters) injury to a small child in my care. our incident was a wake-up call like none other! let's just say it was not handled right by the powers that be, or by the parents, or by the mayor, or by animal control, and others. from the beginning, we "did the right thing" but it didn't matter. immediately, it got ugly. in the end, we determined that our role in this was to bring awareness to others, to provide a college fund to the small child (yes, they sued us, and he ended up with a Hefty settlement that mommy dearest cannot ever touch), and to show that it truly "could happen to anyone". in addition, separate from the insurance claim, it cost us over $12K out of pocket, an amount that had threatened to be much higher, except for divine intervention.
we can all learn from each other, we can all make this world a better place, for us and for our 4-legged friends. kudos to Dean for doing an awesome thing in such a hard time of personal loss and tragedy. and kudos to the other family for stepping up as well.
I'm not sure what to say, other than I'm sorry. We've had our share of dogs who have gotten seriously ill and have had to make 'that' decision. They were our kids before we made our own and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. No matter what the 'good' reasons were I hated it. I'm sorry you were forced to make that decision because of someone else's mistake.
I try to remember that they are no longer in pain and can run free. I can feel them visit sometimes, but I still miss them terribly.
I wish you luck in rehabilitating the dog and educating the owners. Your passion and determination may be what ends up saving him.
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