Just ventin

Have you ever felt empty for no reason? When your chest feels hollow, and full of unbearable pain at the same time? When every emotion is wrapped in rage and there's nothing you can do about it. When it hurts so bad, your wish, every waking moment, is to just be left alone and when you finally are, the silence screams inside your head, When every heartbeat reminds you your still alive only to regret the moment when you actually woke up. When the thought of speaking to anyone makes you choke. When simple chores are tedious and make you resent anyone you ever helped. When the things you say and do, hurt those you love and you just don't care, because one day you'll be gone and they won't miss your attitude. I know I have a problem. I know medication can help it, but I'm tired of being on medication. I don't want to be better, I want to be normal. I want to be happy and not feel so angry. Maybe this day will pass and I'll get some sleep. Maybe the dogs will SHUT THE FUCK UP and not wake me up. Maybe someone will make ME coffee. Maybe someone ELSE will do the dishes. Maybe I'll just not wake up..... at least not here.